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kh_drabble2004-12-12 01:42 am
avatar-infidel.livejournal.com) wrote in kh_drabble2004-12-12 01:42 am
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(no subject)
Well, I've been lurking for quite a while now and thought it was about time that I made a contribution to the community both in respect of drabbles and comments. All of the wonderful entries to previous challenges inspired me to write a drabble of my own, which I'm entering for this challenge with some trepidation, given my less-than-exemplary writing skills and knowledge of KH. I apologise if what I've written doesn't meet the criteria for the challenge, the idea just ran away with me.
I expect that you'll all find this drabble quite confusing, since I've dispensed with names entirely and only used pronouns. There is a reason for this (really!) but I won't bore you with it at present.
Challenge: Kodak Moment.
Title: Over and over.
Word Count: 150.
Pairing: Sephiroth + Ansem or Ansem + Sephiroth. I'm not quite sure who'd be dominant.
Warnings: Sex implied. Overuse of religious imagery. Confusing.
He was the sum of a thousand abstractions, of infinitesimal fragments of countless sleepless nights, ethereal and fleeting and made flesh just to tempt him. A fantasy as corporeal as the rain in which he'd arrived - unheralded - on his doorstep, sodden and wanting.
Sin was the pink smear of his mouth as it parodied his virtue with its irrefutable eloquence; his open door and open arms an aching testament to a persuasion that had promised him all he should never have wanted.
But he did; and, like a saint ensnared by feathered wings, a righteous man hung by the hypocrisy of his own need, he'd, with shameful fervour, cast his caution to the inclemency that now embraced them both.
And thus, frail and lustful and imperfect, the very anathema of godliness, he watched his pretensions die in time with the sweet entreaties of his other. Over and over.
I expect that you'll all find this drabble quite confusing, since I've dispensed with names entirely and only used pronouns. There is a reason for this (really!) but I won't bore you with it at present.
Challenge: Kodak Moment.
Title: Over and over.
Word Count: 150.
Pairing: Sephiroth + Ansem or Ansem + Sephiroth. I'm not quite sure who'd be dominant.
Warnings: Sex implied. Overuse of religious imagery. Confusing.
He was the sum of a thousand abstractions, of infinitesimal fragments of countless sleepless nights, ethereal and fleeting and made flesh just to tempt him. A fantasy as corporeal as the rain in which he'd arrived - unheralded - on his doorstep, sodden and wanting.
Sin was the pink smear of his mouth as it parodied his virtue with its irrefutable eloquence; his open door and open arms an aching testament to a persuasion that had promised him all he should never have wanted.
But he did; and, like a saint ensnared by feathered wings, a righteous man hung by the hypocrisy of his own need, he'd, with shameful fervour, cast his caution to the inclemency that now embraced them both.
And thus, frail and lustful and imperfect, the very anathema of godliness, he watched his pretensions die in time with the sweet entreaties of his other. Over and over.
no subject
I do understand what you mean about the writing being 'thick'; I do tend to pile up the clauses and adjectives, and I'm sure this isn't to everyone's taste, given that such can be quite confusing. I hope it wasn't too tedious to read.
On a different note, I'm very happy that you thought it flowed, since that's something I always find difficult.