ext_134689 (
lindskaba.livejournal.com) wrote in
kh_drabble2007-02-17 01:35 am
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Entry tags:
Challenge [095]
Challenge: [095] Poison
Title: To Wake Her
Word Count: 546
Spoilers/Warnings: None.
Notes: Hi guys, I'm back ♥ Had a bunny that I just couldn't shake. Rather,
crimsoncookie fed me one, and it just tasted so good (and I ate it up, fluffy tail and all).
“I’ve come to wake the Princess.”
“The Princess cannot be woken. She is dead.”
“She’s only sleeping. I’ve come to wake her.”
The sagacious dwarf fills the doorway well for someone of such small stature, his kindly face embittered with a furrowed brow and deep, dragging frown. “No one is allowed to see her. Now leave.”
As he moves to shut the door, The Prince thrusts his fist between it and the wooden frame, blocking its closure. “I know what I’m doing. Move.”
He pushes his way through the door and strides directly into the tiny house, leaving the flustered dwarf sputtering at the door.
Soon they’re all around him:
“What are you doing here?”
“He can’t be here!”
“Get out!”
“Leave us alone!”
“Go back where you came from!”
“Don’t let him near Snow White!”
The Prince ignores their pleas; he doesn’t hear them. He only hears the echo of his boots against the wood – until it falls away and he’s out in the glen, face to face with a glass coffin and his Princess asleep inside.
The dwarves fall suddenly quiet, huddled like frightened animals in the doorway behind him. The clearing is still. When the Prince steps forward, a dwarf breaks the group, flying at his calf with a strangled grunt and fists covered in fabric too long for his arms. The Prince hardly pauses, just long enough to shake the dwarf away into the grass with a quick jerk of his leg. His eyes, dark and stormy as an ocean, are fixed upon the coffin – so intensely that he does not notice the creatures that have gathered at the clearing’s outskirts, a collection of forest animals all staring at him with black eyes.
As soon as he reaches it, presses a gloved hand to its lid, he sees her, the porcelain doll inside. She can’t be more than fourteen, though she looks even younger. Pale face, pale hands, pale eyelids over eyes closed to the gathering dark above them: to the Prince, it’s like looking in a mirror – except for her striking red lips, red as an apple, as an apple dipped in blood.
He lifts the lid.
He knows what he must do; his orders were clear. The Princess must be woken. But now, staring down at a thing so young and pale and vulnerable, he suddenly doesn’t know what to do with his hands, or his legs, or the hair shifting stubborn into his eyes. The dwarves are watching; the woods are watching. In his chest, he can feel his heart pounding fast and dark and, staying his panicking breath, he lowers himself, slowly, to the porcelain princess –
and Riku gives her his first kiss.
Slowly, she opens her eyes.
They’re blue.
He blinks.
No – no. Brown. They’re brown.
Quickly, Snow White begins to breathe, little stunned gasps of air that whisper over Riku’s cheeks. Her chest, barely defined, rises up to his and back again, up and down with hesitant life. She’s staring at him with large bewildered eyes; behind them, he can see the birth of tears. “Are… are you my prince?”
He swallows, and for the first time tastes the poison in his mouth. “No.”
And with a burst of black, they’re gone.
Title: To Wake Her
Word Count: 546
Spoilers/Warnings: None.
Notes: Hi guys, I'm back ♥ Had a bunny that I just couldn't shake. Rather,
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“I’ve come to wake the Princess.”
“The Princess cannot be woken. She is dead.”
“She’s only sleeping. I’ve come to wake her.”
The sagacious dwarf fills the doorway well for someone of such small stature, his kindly face embittered with a furrowed brow and deep, dragging frown. “No one is allowed to see her. Now leave.”
As he moves to shut the door, The Prince thrusts his fist between it and the wooden frame, blocking its closure. “I know what I’m doing. Move.”
He pushes his way through the door and strides directly into the tiny house, leaving the flustered dwarf sputtering at the door.
Soon they’re all around him:
“What are you doing here?”
“He can’t be here!”
“Get out!”
“Leave us alone!”
“Go back where you came from!”
“Don’t let him near Snow White!”
The Prince ignores their pleas; he doesn’t hear them. He only hears the echo of his boots against the wood – until it falls away and he’s out in the glen, face to face with a glass coffin and his Princess asleep inside.
The dwarves fall suddenly quiet, huddled like frightened animals in the doorway behind him. The clearing is still. When the Prince steps forward, a dwarf breaks the group, flying at his calf with a strangled grunt and fists covered in fabric too long for his arms. The Prince hardly pauses, just long enough to shake the dwarf away into the grass with a quick jerk of his leg. His eyes, dark and stormy as an ocean, are fixed upon the coffin – so intensely that he does not notice the creatures that have gathered at the clearing’s outskirts, a collection of forest animals all staring at him with black eyes.
As soon as he reaches it, presses a gloved hand to its lid, he sees her, the porcelain doll inside. She can’t be more than fourteen, though she looks even younger. Pale face, pale hands, pale eyelids over eyes closed to the gathering dark above them: to the Prince, it’s like looking in a mirror – except for her striking red lips, red as an apple, as an apple dipped in blood.
He lifts the lid.
He knows what he must do; his orders were clear. The Princess must be woken. But now, staring down at a thing so young and pale and vulnerable, he suddenly doesn’t know what to do with his hands, or his legs, or the hair shifting stubborn into his eyes. The dwarves are watching; the woods are watching. In his chest, he can feel his heart pounding fast and dark and, staying his panicking breath, he lowers himself, slowly, to the porcelain princess –
and Riku gives her his first kiss.
Slowly, she opens her eyes.
They’re blue.
He blinks.
No – no. Brown. They’re brown.
Quickly, Snow White begins to breathe, little stunned gasps of air that whisper over Riku’s cheeks. Her chest, barely defined, rises up to his and back again, up and down with hesitant life. She’s staring at him with large bewildered eyes; behind them, he can see the birth of tears. “Are… are you my prince?”
He swallows, and for the first time tastes the poison in his mouth. “No.”
And with a burst of black, they’re gone.
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it's so bittersweet.
I love it! XD
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Wow! That was awesome! I can see this drabble as a missing scene from the first game.
Poor Snow White :(
And poor Riku too!
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I like his short clipped reply to her asking if he was her prince. The poison was a nice touch. *applauds*
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Joke.
This is awesome!
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Oh oh oh. I'm just gonna type randomly on my keyboard for a moment. ALSjdtgakistdg!!!! Yes. If one could actually pronounce that, that's the sound I made.
What a come back. :) I mean, I thought it was awesome and wonderfully well-written at the beginning, when I assumed it was a retelling of Snow White and her prince. And then I got a little confused, because there's no way the prince would shove off Dopey like that. Then this line: He knows what he must do; his orders were clear. The Princess must be woken, had me in '... oh. Ohhhh. Oh no she didn't!' glee and SO MUCH LOVE!
I love that you don't use Riku's name till very close to the end, and when you do use it you tag it with 'Riku gives her his first kiss' which is somehow very heartbreaking and tragic in so few words. Which is, of course, the sign of lovely writing.
"Are you my prince?" "No." Gaaaaah.
I love fairy tales. I love fairy tales gone wrong. I love yooooou. *mems*
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Ummm- world choice! Snow White is excellent. I love how unsure Riku is, there, just before he kisses her. Because, he is just a kid and of course he doesn't know what to do, and that then seeing her being so..fragile..he feels guilty for it. The characterization there is perfect, perfect! And, I really like his observing her eye color, little details like that make me happy.
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I love how the dwarves KNOW he's not supposed to be there. 'DANGER, DANGER Will Robinson!'
Poor Riku! *whibble~!*
XD I luff it~ I think someone's done each of them now. ^^ All the unexplained Princesses~ (I still maintain that Maleficent snatched Aurora herself.)
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AWESOME. You are officially an amazing person for writing this. Not only does it feature the oft neglected Snow White, but the narrative is perfect. I can't find a single thing wrong with this. Hands down, one of the best drabbles I've read in a long time.
And Dopey! I can't explain why, but imagining him running at Riku trying to protect her and being shaken off like he was nothing...He's so endearing, but seeing his valiant efforts being brushed off like that makes me really feel sorry for him. Poor little guy!
All in all, this is made of WIN. I love fics about the princesses, and especially about Riku collecting them. Are you going to make more? I sure hope so! Thanks so much!