(no subject)

[happyegg.livejournal.com]

Haven't submitted anything here in a while...

Title: The Way It's Not Supposed To Be (... ignore the title, really)
Challenge: Forbidden Love
Wordcount: 120
Rating: G, unless innocent shounen-ai merits something stronger >.>
Notes: All I can write is angst ;_;



Riku hated himself for feeling this way.

Couldn’t stand the way his heart lurched when he saw the brunette running towards him, bed-mussed hair highlighted by the soft rays of morning. Detested himself for going so soft, willingly shouldering both their packs at his best friend’s request, the added weight contributing to the line of sweat day’s midday heat had already produced. Loathed the weak, sick feeling he got when Sora left, off to play with Kairi on the docks as the sun sank ever lower.

But he did feel that way, and even the knowledge of how firmly he was wrapped around his best friend’s finger wasn’t enough to change the path his stupid heart was leading him down.

Comments

[salsa-ishida.livejournal.com]

This is great! The thing that gets me is the last line; how it "wasn't enough to change the path his stupid heart was leading him down." It seems to me like that's a reference to the game's events... Lemme explain myself. Part of your text hints at jealousy towards Kairi (the weak, sick feeling he got when Sora was off with Kairi), and of course, in the game, when you're leaving the islands, he tries to ignore the idea of Kairi until Sora keeps bringing her up, at which point he says she's going with them but makes no effort to actually go and get her, hoping instead that Sora will forget it ever came up and just go with him. So this "path his stupid heart was leading him down" could possibly have been ditching Kairi so he could have Sora, which backfired, and ultimately leading to the chain of events in the game.

Of course, I could also be doing that thing I sometimes usually do where I read waaay too far into things. XD Either way, this drabble was great, and I spent a good fifteen minutes theorizing at it (and not finishing your valentine... *cough* Oops. ...it'll get done soon, honest~ ^^ But I have to make Trowa critique it for me before I take it any farther XD). I love it when things make me think. ^.^ You also used the fewest possible words to convey the strongest possible meaning, and I ♥ when people can do that.

Overall, excellent job. ^.^ Loved the mood of this. =3

[happyegg.livejournal.com]

Yes, you do read a lot into things XD I pretty much wrote this on a whim with no thought to deeper meanings whatsoever. Your theories are amazingly insightful though, and all of the sudden my own writing makes a lot more sense to me o_O

Like, I was really refferencing any concrete events from the game on purpose, but the way you explained it makes it make sense... you sure you didn't write this somehow? I like your enterpretation of the last line, though I wasn't thinking much about what I was writing when I typed the sentence. Glad you liked (as were so distracted by XD) this (and don't worry about the Valentine, whenever you get done is fine :P), I aim to please ^.^

Thanks ya again! *HuggleSnuggleGlompage*