kh_drabble | [Feedback Post]

To commemorate the 100th challenge at

kh_drabble (as well as all sorts of other things), we'll be having this nifty thing called the Feedback Post. Basically, this is a cumulative feedback post, where people (both signed in and anonymous) can give feedback to any author. Basically, in order to participate in it, all you need to be is an author who has posted in this community before (because it's a feedback post, duh.)

For Those Who Want Feedback
1. Put your username down in the comments.
2. It is up to you, but I think it would be helpful if you put links to your latest drabbles. It is up to you, of course.
3. Do enable comment notification, because anonymous comments will be screened.
4. Do feedback to others too, especially if you like receiving your own feedback!

For Those Who Are Giving Feedback
1. Basically, general comments on their writing style, ideas, creativity? I know all of us here are authors, or at the very least, readers, so we do have an idea of what writing is like and how someone can improve. Even better, tell someone their positive points, because we all need a little ego boost now and then.
2. Slanderous reviews will be deleted. Just because it is anonymous doesn't mean that you can shoot your mouth any way you like. If people take advantage of it then anonymous reviewing will be turned off.

I hope that this would be useful and constructive to the participants of this community, but most of all, really fun as well.

So get to it!

(Oh, and if anyone wants to use this to feedback to the moderators about anything in the community, I suppose this is a good time as any to do so. Thanks.)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Awesome ideas, guys!

Some recent works:
[100] (http://community.livejournal.com/kh_drabble/489372.html#cutid1)
[085] (http://community.livejournal.com/kh_drabble/406808.html)
[083] (http://community.livejournal.com/kh_drabble/391898.html)

Thanks in advance :33333

So that the idea doesn't fall flat on its nose. XD

I really liked how you can say a lot of things in very few words, which shows in your entries. It makes the story feel very tight and very focused, which is always a good thing.

I do think that your entry for [100] is not as good though, mainly because you probably felt constrained by the word limit, so you opted to go dialogue-only. Your attempt for dialogue is weaker, I feel, and it doesn't read as good as the other two drabbles that you put up.

I also went back to see your first few posts in the community, and I'm actually quite surprised to see how much your writing has changed? You mentioned that you are primarily an artist before a writer, but you definitely have a better grasp of description than you did at the beginning. (Your first entry was a little too...wordy and frilly for me, at least).

Thanks for the review. I was prompted to go back as well and read some of my older entries, and it is a little weird to read old stuff. Like I look at it now and get a little fidgety because there are things I want to change. I'm glad that my writing has changed, and in my humble opnion (lulz), gottten better. That was one of the main reasons I joined this community. At the time it was a smaller group of very talented writers, and by reading their things and continuing to write my own, I was hoping for improvement. Now I feel kinda overwhelmed by all the writers I don't know, who seem to be aiming to just win challenges as opposed to producing really amazing pieces. But I digress.

Again, thank you. My struggle with the English language continues! <3

100-- OT3 LUFF! Always good to see the trio being a trio. And being adorable at that! However, three people in dialog the way you have it set up is confusing. After a couple of read-throughs I can figure out who said what from the hints you've left, which is what let's the piece succeed. However, the hints aren't strong enough at the beginning. It's really hard to figure out who said what for the first few lines. Even going back through it's hard to do.

Also, personal opinion on characterization: Riku doesn't seem to me like the sort to beg, even Kairi. Sora's in character, Kairi's in character, but Riku feels slightly off to me. But that's purely opinion on 'accurate' characterizations, so feel free to take it with as much salt as you need. XD

85: I do and don't get what you're trying to do with this piece. I really, really like the way you wrote Roxas and the emotions he's showing. I like the admission that he's not changing, which means, to Roxas, that he's not alive. That was handled really well. Axel, on the other hand, I don't think was handled as well. You state "He hadn’t explained it that way of course" but then I don't see where or how he explains it otherwise. For the kind of admission that Roxas throws at him, Axel doesn't really seem to react. He seems to be somewhere between denial and complete acceptance, trying to pretend at life with Roxas, but not fighting Roxas's denial of that life. Axel just doesn't give back the same level of emotion that Roxas puts in, which is odd because Axel is, in the game, more expressive with whatever he is (o isn't feeling), while Roxas is relatively even keeled until everything is falling apart around him. Still, I like what you're trying for, I LOVE Roxas's admission and the way emotion he expresses.

83: This one I REALLY like. Took me a moment to put everything together, but that's mostly my fault. >.>; You know, I don't really have much crit to give on this one except that I REALLY like it.

LOL sorry, I just have to mostly disagree with nearly everything you've said. I don't feel the need to spell out everything in the writings, sorry if it's hard to understand.

[100] *melts into a puddle of CUTENESS* I love this one. It's cute that you have it only in dialogue, though it was a little difficult to tell who was talking. Cute idea, and a total ball of fluff that warms the soul :) . Everyone's very in character too. I love it.

[085] It's a very poignant drabble :O. My only complaint about this drabble is that the first paragraph was a little wordy and it made for a rocky flow. Other than that first paragraph, it flowed smoothly and it had good direction. I also like how you wrote Axel. It falls within the realm of believable, even if Disney would have imploded before they let anyone snuggle on screen lol.

[083] Great portrayal of Riku right there. He's self-loathing, but not to the point of annoying the reader. You really get that resentment towards his mistake and his frustration, and that's what makes this short little drabble great :D. It came across clear and strong.

[Feedback Post]

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