[Feedback Post]

[wrong.livejournal.com]

To commemorate the 100th challenge at kh_drabble (as well as all sorts of other things), we'll be having this nifty thing called the Feedback Post. Basically, this is a cumulative feedback post, where people (both signed in and anonymous) can give feedback to any author. Basically, in order to participate in it, all you need to be is an author who has posted in this community before (because it's a feedback post, duh.)

For Those Who Want Feedback
1. Put your username down in the comments.
2. It is up to you, but I think it would be helpful if you put links to your latest drabbles. It is up to you, of course.
3. Do enable comment notification, because anonymous comments will be screened.
4. Do feedback to others too, especially if you like receiving your own feedback!

For Those Who Are Giving Feedback
1. Basically, general comments on their writing style, ideas, creativity? I know all of us here are authors, or at the very least, readers, so we do have an idea of what writing is like and how someone can improve. Even better, tell someone their positive points, because we all need a little ego boost now and then.
2. Slanderous reviews will be deleted. Just because it is anonymous doesn't mean that you can shoot your mouth any way you like. If people take advantage of it then anonymous reviewing will be turned off.

I hope that this would be useful and constructive to the participants of this community, but most of all, really fun as well.

So get to it!

(Oh, and if anyone wants to use this to feedback to the moderators about anything in the community, I suppose this is a good time as any to do so. Thanks.)

Comments

Re: sweeeeeeeeeet

[lunarflight.livejournal.com]

100-- OT3 LUFF! Always good to see the trio being a trio. And being adorable at that! However, three people in dialog the way you have it set up is confusing. After a couple of read-throughs I can figure out who said what from the hints you've left, which is what let's the piece succeed. However, the hints aren't strong enough at the beginning. It's really hard to figure out who said what for the first few lines. Even going back through it's hard to do.

Also, personal opinion on characterization: Riku doesn't seem to me like the sort to beg, even Kairi. Sora's in character, Kairi's in character, but Riku feels slightly off to me. But that's purely opinion on 'accurate' characterizations, so feel free to take it with as much salt as you need. XD

85: I do and don't get what you're trying to do with this piece. I really, really like the way you wrote Roxas and the emotions he's showing. I like the admission that he's not changing, which means, to Roxas, that he's not alive. That was handled really well. Axel, on the other hand, I don't think was handled as well. You state "He hadn’t explained it that way of course" but then I don't see where or how he explains it otherwise. For the kind of admission that Roxas throws at him, Axel doesn't really seem to react. He seems to be somewhere between denial and complete acceptance, trying to pretend at life with Roxas, but not fighting Roxas's denial of that life. Axel just doesn't give back the same level of emotion that Roxas puts in, which is odd because Axel is, in the game, more expressive with whatever he is (o isn't feeling), while Roxas is relatively even keeled until everything is falling apart around him. Still, I like what you're trying for, I LOVE Roxas's admission and the way emotion he expresses.

83: This one I REALLY like. Took me a moment to put everything together, but that's mostly my fault. >.>; You know, I don't really have much crit to give on this one except that I REALLY like it.

Re: sweeeeeeeeeet

[i-got-spunk.livejournal.com]

LOL sorry, I just have to mostly disagree with nearly everything you've said. I don't feel the need to spell out everything in the writings, sorry if it's hard to understand.