[217] Letting Go

[synchroshatter.livejournal.com]

Challenge: [217] Letting Go
Title: These Things
Word Count: 219
Spoilers: Days, BBS
Notes: Not entirely happy with this piece, so concrit very much encouraged! I also seem to be writing a lot about these characters lately...
Summary: Because some memories survive anything- whether for better or worse.


Even after everything else- home, family, name, heart- has been ripped away, even then there are some things he cannot, will not, relinquish. These things stay tucked deep inside his mind, as clear after this eternity as when they had first just happened: the sound of a laugh as it echoes down the street; the soft weight of an arm slung around the shoulders of another; the rhythm of footsteps perfectly in time; secret smiles shared as the sun sets. The times and situations are ever changing, but the two figures populating them are ever the same- two boys bound together throughout life (and, so it would seem, beyond it too).

These are the things he holds close even as he strides into this new (non)existence as a different person. These are the things he sees reflected in the eyes of another who saw it all first hand too. These are the things he whispers about in deserted corridors and abandoned rooms, recalling a loyalty that he knows exists, even if it can’t be felt, even if only one will act for it.

These are the things that strangle the “no” in Axel’s throat before he can even think to voice it. These are the things that Saïx smiles about to himself as the path is cleared before him.

Comments

[vinoconvino.livejournal.com]

Awesome! I'm so intrigued by the Axel/Saix (and Lea/Isa) relationship, and I love your take on it!

[synchroshatter.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I'm really glad you enjoyed it. ^-^

[seraphimfairy.livejournal.com]

Cooool
I like the repetition of "these things/these are the things", it creates quite the rhythm/ feeling of nostalgia, which I'm assuming you're going for.

[synchroshatter.livejournal.com]

Thank you for reviewing! To be honest, that kind of developed as it went on (rather than me having the idea from the beginning), but I'm glad it worked!

[noiseandsound.livejournal.com]

I like this piece very much, especially the final two lines. For me, it exuded a sense of how the relationship between Lea and Isa changed so drastically.
Since you asked for concrit, here is mine, mainly an aesthetic reason: The first sentence of the second paragraph seemed a little long-winded when compared to what you had previously written. If it were me, I would have shortened the sentence or broken it up a little bit just to keep with the consistency and flow of the writing. Otherwise, very very nice job. :) And a little heartbreaking, but that's not necessarily bad. xD

[synchroshatter.livejournal.com]

Yeah, overly long sentences are something I have a very big problem with keeping under control. XD Thanks for mentioning it, though I'm glad you like it in general, especially as I was a bit 'meh' about this piece. = )

[kagome-angel.livejournal.com]

This is a beautiful and yet sad piece. I love it--I've been very intrigued by their used-to-be friendship since Days, and I think you portrayed how things changed between them very well. I have no concrit, lol. Just love this piece. <3333

[synchroshatter.livejournal.com]

During the scene where it was revealed, I was thinking along the lines of "Well, this is an all caps SCANDAL, isn't it?" and since then I seem to have them in my head a lot demanding to be heard. XD I always kind of wonder if Saix is jealous of Roxas and Xion, and whether it might just be because he won't have so much power over Axel if they mean more to him.

Excuse my ramblings- thanks for reviewing and I'm very glad you like it! ^-^

[roterstern.livejournal.com]

You will write more Axel, won't you? Because you have to. So far what I've read from you, which isn't much, but, always breaks my heart. I think you captured the depth of their bond well, and where it goes.

♥

[synchroshatter.livejournal.com]

lol I promise I will try to. I do think he's made of win, so hopefully it won't be that impossible. And aww, thank you! I'm very flattered. ^-^ (Or at least, I hope it's heartbreaking in a good way? = S heheh)

[euphonious-glow.livejournal.com]

I just finished reading the Days gamescript (yeah, bad fan), and I was genuinely surprised to find out that Axel and Saix were friends once. And that they were plotting together. Wow. You really described what I found to be one of the most interesting aspects of the game.