The Fire-Thorn

[taichara]

Title: The Fire-Thorn
Challenge: None
Words: 260
Characters: Marluxia, Axel.
Spoilers: References the end of Chain of Memories, Sora's Story.
Notes: warning -- dark drabble ahead! violence, blood, unpleasant ending for one character. possibly some other implied ideas. reader discretion is advised.


the Fire-Thorn

It was still and quiet now, the pale child-witch tending to the sleeping child of light;
and the perfect time for a scattered blossom to drag himself --
weeping a false-life like thick dead blood behind him --
back from the Nothing and into the marble cradle of the stony flowers.

Breath hitching in his chest, he paused as weakness washed over him
and a rosy corona flared, unfurling, on narrow shoulders briefly ...

And then, a rush of blood and fire sent him crushed against one milky wall
Like a dead dusty rose pinned out to dry.

He could barely choke the words through lips drawn and pale,
as the iron-velvet hands coiled round his flanks, pressed him to the marble.


'Axel ...

'Traitor.'


He could feel the fever-heat of his captor, as his vision filled
with blood-fire mane; and sharp white teeth closed briefly on his neck,
traced down his throat.


"Traitor? Me?
"My dear flower-prince, you are mistaken.

"The only traitor here is you."


His mouth twists in anger; then in agony the boy had never given him to know,
as the fire spreads against him, eating him alive.

His captor smiles a hunter's smile, and draws back one hand
To stroke one perfect cheek soft as a rose's petal;
Then tears across the milk-rose's throat -- a perfect stroke --
With fire-tempered razor like a poisoned thorn.

And Axel purrs to the fading hollow eyes, the pale face flecked now with scarlet dewdrops.


"Why did you ever think that you could escape me ...?"

Comments

[sorastalker.livejournal.com]

O_O wow...if I'm understanding this right, this is Marluxia after Sora kicked his butt--err, defeated him and......then Axel comes!!! yay for Axel! erm, yay for yaoi too??? this is really good! yay!

[sabbato.livejournal.com]

I like the idea behind it, the detail, but I'm sure you could more graphic. Is it suposed to be more poem like? If not try writing in paragraphs, I find myself getting lost if that's not the case.

But it's good! Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the idea and I'd love to see you expand on it.

[wrong.livejournal.com]

I love the idea. I absolutely adore the pairing, and I would be really interested if you could tidy up the drabble and write it out clearer. It would be an absolute pleasure to read it.

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

As with many of your pieces, Tai, you have a way of using imagery to get your point across which surpasses mere narrative - and this scene certainly could not be considered a drabble if it were "written out long" in a more usual style. This piece is closer to straight narrative than most. I call for more epithets next time, if indeed any change need be made. Of course, I have the advantage of long experience with your style. Your pieces fot the Order have been lovely, keep up the good work.

*put in mind of Carlin*