The Fire-Thorn

[taichara]

Title: The Fire-Thorn
Challenge: None
Words: 260
Characters: Marluxia, Axel.
Spoilers: References the end of Chain of Memories, Sora's Story.
Notes: warning -- dark drabble ahead! violence, blood, unpleasant ending for one character. possibly some other implied ideas. reader discretion is advised.


the Fire-Thorn

It was still and quiet now, the pale child-witch tending to the sleeping child of light;
and the perfect time for a scattered blossom to drag himself --
weeping a false-life like thick dead blood behind him --
back from the Nothing and into the marble cradle of the stony flowers.

Breath hitching in his chest, he paused as weakness washed over him
and a rosy corona flared, unfurling, on narrow shoulders briefly ...

And then, a rush of blood and fire sent him crushed against one milky wall
Like a dead dusty rose pinned out to dry.

He could barely choke the words through lips drawn and pale,
as the iron-velvet hands coiled round his flanks, pressed him to the marble.


'Axel ...

'Traitor.'


He could feel the fever-heat of his captor, as his vision filled
with blood-fire mane; and sharp white teeth closed briefly on his neck,
traced down his throat.


"Traitor? Me?
"My dear flower-prince, you are mistaken.

"The only traitor here is you."


His mouth twists in anger; then in agony the boy had never given him to know,
as the fire spreads against him, eating him alive.

His captor smiles a hunter's smile, and draws back one hand
To stroke one perfect cheek soft as a rose's petal;
Then tears across the milk-rose's throat -- a perfect stroke --
With fire-tempered razor like a poisoned thorn.

And Axel purrs to the fading hollow eyes, the pale face flecked now with scarlet dewdrops.


"Why did you ever think that you could escape me ...?"

Comments

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

As with many of your pieces, Tai, you have a way of using imagery to get your point across which surpasses mere narrative - and this scene certainly could not be considered a drabble if it were "written out long" in a more usual style. This piece is closer to straight narrative than most. I call for more epithets next time, if indeed any change need be made. Of course, I have the advantage of long experience with your style. Your pieces fot the Order have been lovely, keep up the good work.

*put in mind of Carlin*

[taichara]

You want more epithets? *boggles*

.. Well, no promises .. they just sort of happen. There's generally more than here, though, isn't there ... I like this one, though ^_^

I'm not sure I'd say that this style "surpasses narrative", though, that might be taking things a little much ...


*thinks of Carlin in or dealing with the Order*

*brain promptly overloads*


Curse you ...!! *flails* XD

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

I like your epithets. Like in [chosen]. [chosen] had many lovely epithets. :D The Order lends themselves to them so easily, too.

Oh, I like this one, too. It's very nice, and I'm sure Axel is happy to get some exercise.


I was actually thinking more of the piece with Carlin and the basket of something interesting, but I can see why your brain might hurt now. Crossover? *ebils*

[taichara]

They do! I need to know more about the "newer" members, so I can see what my poor deranged mind ofers by way of images for them ^_^

(.. other than "Mooove Ziiig!!" XD )


Yeh, it's good to let fire-mane there finally get some screentime again; he's only been waiting since before he had a name ... *snickers*


The basket with something interesting -- that's a linkage I never thought of (although it works rather opposite to this one, really; there was plenty of time to 'see' what Carlin felt about the matter ..)

And no! No crossovers! Not with that! Gah!! >_

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

*ebils*