kh_drabble | (no subject)

Challenge: [79] - Close to you
Title: Abyss
Word Count: 347
Spoilers: Yes, yes, and yes, for Roxas's history in TT and WTNW and some near-ending bits of KH.
Notes: The ending was happy--all smiling faces, beautiful places. How quickly did it take for that to fade? This is me, as usual, exploring the post Kingdom Hearts II aspects because they, quite frankly, fascinate me.

It was dark within Sora. Roxas guessed that it was because all the light the boy held (and it was so utterly obvious that the light he held brimmed over the edge) was all on the outside for those around him to soak up like the greedy twits they were.

The light was not where Roxas thought it should be—inside, where he was. Walking the shadows was different when there was no one to look at you or care about your misery. Misery loves company, they say. In the dark abyss, void of a friendly face, there were no reproving dark-aqua eyes glinting beneath fire engine-red hair, or the purse of the Superior’s lips.

And there was most certainly not light.

Kairi loved the light because it was half hers, after all. But Kairi was not Olette. Riku, pale and aqua, was not Axel. Tidus was not Hayner, Wakka was not Pence. Sora’s parents weren’t Roxas’s parents even though he was never birthed.

Being ‘close’ to Sora was not the same as being ‘with’ Sora. ‘Inside’ Sora was just about equal to ‘disappearing’ into Sora, something Namine promised would not happen. Roxas half hoped Namine wasn’t suffering like he was, and half hoped, in selfish glory, that she was. He was half angry that she lied, but half calm because he knew she probably didn’t know any better.

He would have settled for being simply ‘near’ Sora, a ghostly apparition following him. Or better yet ‘beside’ Sora, his equal. You hold half of what he is, Ansem the not-quite-Wise said. Half isn’t good enough? Roxas thinks. I’m half but I get the short end of the string?

It was never a planned thing, Roxas’s creation. But he existed nonetheless, like a love child that is unwanted but at the same time cannot be simply thrown in the gutter. YOU thrust the Keyblade into your own heart. YOU created me. It is YOUR responsibility to take care of me because I’m half of you.

Being ‘close’ to Sora’s heart was no better than having none at all.