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[exvampirius.livejournal.com]

Challenge: [098] Mother
Title: Waiting
Word Count: 235
Characters: Kairi's mother
Note: Here's one from the newbie...A word in my defense...This is my first real drabble.

Tick-tock…

 

Five o’ clock.

 

Still waiting.

 

She always came home at four. Like clockwork; a ritual. But not today. Where was she?

 

Her mother clenched her fingers around the firm wood of her mixing spoon. She stirred three times. Counter-clockwise. As if trying to rewind time so that it was once again four o’ clock. So that she wouldn’t have to worry because any second now her daughter was going to walk right through that door.

 

Stir three times. Add water. Stir again.

 

Tick-tock…

 

The clock liked to mock.

 

It had happened to the others. She’d heard first from her daughter. The cheerful, bright-eyed young boy, and his friend with the silver hair. No one knew why. Not their parents. Not their friends. They were just gone. She knew, though. Somehow she knew why they were gone. Because she knew that they would come back. And she waited.

 

She’d told her mother she wouldn’t go. She would stay here until they came back. But her mother worried all the same. What if she left? What if one day she was gone? What if she never came back? She didn’t know what she would do. She’d seen the other parents mourning. Searching. Waiting. It could happen to her. She knew.

 

She believed it wouldn’t. Hoped that it couldn’t. Swore that it shouldn’t.

 

But she knew.

 

Stir three times.

 

Add water.

 

Tick-tock…

 

Six o’ clock.

 

Still waiting.

Comments

[kunoichi-life.livejournal.com]

*tackles exvamp ferociously* NYahahahhaha :D Welcome to kh_drabble. Fantastic for ze first drabble on the community. Instilled a nagging fear in the back of my mind. Wonderful.

[exvampirius.livejournal.com]

*tackled* x_X

LIES. Do not fear the vampire and his drabble n00b-idity.

But thanks.

[kunoichi-life.livejournal.com]

.... *Joshes the vamp*

[exvampirius.livejournal.com]

AAARGH HISSSS.

*points to "DO NOT JOSH THE VAMPIRE" sign*

[kunoichi-life.livejournal.com]

>_> <_<... *joshes the... unicorn?*

[exvampirius.livejournal.com]

...BOO. I am not a unicorn. D< They exist in fairy tale places with rainbows and leprechauns. But not here, cause...

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...BOO. I am not a unicorn. D< They exist in fairy tale places with rainbows and leprechauns. But not here, cause...

<_< >_>

*rams you with shopping cart* This is SPARTAAAAAAAAAAA!

[lorei.livejournal.com]

ooooh. It's really very creepy. And fabulous, especially as it's your first drabble? For serious? It's quite amazing :D

[exvampirius.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I'm glad you like it. ^_^ I was trying to make it kind of creepy and foreboding.

[accio-yossarian.livejournal.com]

For a first drabble, this was spectacular - very ominous and chilling, it has depicted well her anxiety. Well done.

Welcome to the community! :)

[exvampirius.livejournal.com]

Thanks! :D

[themadpoker.livejournal.com]

:O OMG new talented people! Hurrah!

Anyhoos I liked it most greatly. For it was apprehensive and slightly creepy and wonderfully written. Have a cookie.

[exvampirius.livejournal.com]

Yay cookie. Thank you, glad I managed to achieve my goal for this one.

[sartorisnopes.livejournal.com]

That was awesome. I loved it when you described Kairi's mother stirring backwards, like it could turn back the time.

[exvampirius.livejournal.com]

Thank you. ^_^ I think a lot of people do things like that subconsciously anyway.

[aetherae.livejournal.com]

x_X Hell of a lot better than my first drabble. I still suck too. XD I really liked this. :) Especially the thing with the clock. XD Reminds me of a story I read.

[exvampirius.livejournal.com]

XD I read yours, and you do not suck. But thank you. :D

[lindskaba.livejournal.com]

Oh geez, this is fabulous. I love the bits with the clock, the childish rhyming -- tick tock... the clock liked to mock. I've never seen Kairi's mother written so nicely (in fact, I may never have seen Kairi's mother written at all...).

Great debut ♥