Challenege

[taistoi.livejournal.com]

Challenge: 158 [Disney Rides]
Title: Uh-Oa
Word Count: 423
Warning: some swearing



There were precisely three worlds that Xigbar – lazy, laid-back easygoing Xigbar – had personally destroyed.

The first he’d come across while world hopping in an attempt to remedy boredom. The cheery colors and adorable animals that greeted him with big, sappy eyes and totawwy adowable child-like voices had immediately made his trigger finger itchy. It wasn’t until they started singing though that he’d gone on a homicidal shooting rampage, laughing as little bunnies and turtles ran in terror from the scary man in the black coat drenched in Little Skippy and Jojo’s blood.

And then the PRINCE had shown up and called him “foul knave” or some bullshit, and HE started singing, so Xigbar summoned a few ten thousand heartless and Andalasia was gone in a few minutes.

The second had been rather like the first, except instead of cuddly rabbits and birdies and chipmunks, cutsey kids with big eyes and ethnic costumes showed up to greet him, singing about unity and peace and how small the world really was, and they’d tried to shove him in a BOAT so he could listen to them sing about it. Xigbar wasn’t having any of that shit.

The Small World was gone in even less time than Andalasia.

He’d actually been with Xaldin the third time. They’d gotten a little drunk (well, actually, a lot drunk) off a bottle of… something… that they’d found outside a circus tent. Initially, it smelled and tasted like cheap wine, but after a few sips they were so completely hammered that there must have been SOMETHING added to it, like crack. Or drain-o.

When they woke up, grumpy and hung-over, The world was a barren wasteland with scattered heartless leering down at them from tent poles and empty animal cages, and Xigbar and Xaldin could only guess that in their hallucinogenic stupor, they’d summoned heartless to take care of the pink elephants. Xigbar shuddered at the memory of Technicolor pachyderms morphing and dancing and doing light-knew-what.

Now he was on some other world where the national pastime was singing, and Xigbar definitely did not feel like singing like the birdies sing. He drew his guns, prepared to be over and done with in mere minutes, when, from the center of the room, smoke and fire belched from a pedestal and an angry woman, who glows green and reeks of malice, burst forth. “WHO DARES INSULT THE TIKI GODS?” she bellowed, casting her wild, glowing eyes around the room.

Xigbar ran. The OTHER worlds didn’t have angry disaster Tiki goddesses.