This story is so funny because the opening could potentially be the opening to a pretty silly sort of story about a love triangle between Sora, Kairi and Riku. The dialogue that you use works so well for both scenarios. You do a good job of camouflaging youractual agenda.
The melodramatic nature of the choice in Sora's head even works well for the character beause he is pretty silly. I can see him making a choice of treats into a matter of life or death decision. It is also very like him to do something so ridiculous as stuff his face full of frozen treat. I love Kairi's reaction to his antics. You are very good at capturing the voice patterns of the separate characters in such a short piece.
I mean, this sort of thing would *only* work in a drabble. But drabbles are excellent for surprise endings and silliness. It's a very cute and surprising little piece.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2006-03-08 07:16 am (UTC)The melodramatic nature of the choice in Sora's head even works well for the character beause he is pretty silly. I can see him making a choice of treats into a matter of life or death decision. It is also very like him to do something so ridiculous as stuff his face full of frozen treat. I love Kairi's reaction to his antics. You are very good at capturing the voice patterns of the separate characters in such a short piece.
I mean, this sort of thing would *only* work in a drabble. But drabbles are excellent for surprise endings and silliness. It's a very cute and surprising little piece.