in the sky
Mar. 20th, 2006 10:18 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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kh_drabbleChallenge: [056] Missing You
Title: in the sky
Word Count: 258
Notes: Sora/Kairi.
waiting is not a skill most are experts in, especially when what one is waiting for might never come. so she tries to keep her mind off of it; off him, and live like she should, like normal.
and everyday she rows to the play island and gathers thalassa shells to string lucky charms together. she never really knows who they are for, she just likes making them, that's all. but she wonders how much longer she must lie to herself.
every night she sits by her window and counts the stars until she falls asleep. it has been a terribly long time since she has slept on her own bed. but counting the stars is an awfully important business; someone needs to make sure all the worlds are still there, after all. but it worries her that she has never gotten round to counting all of them.
and it hurts to know that he can be in any of those worlds having the time of his life while she is here pining away for him.
so one morning, at dawn, just before the sun peeks over the horizon, she walks along the beach with her gaze on the horizon, weeping silently. she does not want to shout to scream to shatter the thalassa shells to curse the stars still twinkling weakly. she just wishes for the shores to be empty for the drizzle to blanket the shore for the sun to rise slowly. so she can weep unnoticed along the shore; her eyes on the sea, her heart in the sky.
Title: in the sky
Word Count: 258
Notes: Sora/Kairi.
waiting is not a skill most are experts in, especially when what one is waiting for might never come. so she tries to keep her mind off of it; off him, and live like she should, like normal.
and everyday she rows to the play island and gathers thalassa shells to string lucky charms together. she never really knows who they are for, she just likes making them, that's all. but she wonders how much longer she must lie to herself.
every night she sits by her window and counts the stars until she falls asleep. it has been a terribly long time since she has slept on her own bed. but counting the stars is an awfully important business; someone needs to make sure all the worlds are still there, after all. but it worries her that she has never gotten round to counting all of them.
and it hurts to know that he can be in any of those worlds having the time of his life while she is here pining away for him.
so one morning, at dawn, just before the sun peeks over the horizon, she walks along the beach with her gaze on the horizon, weeping silently. she does not want to shout to scream to shatter the thalassa shells to curse the stars still twinkling weakly. she just wishes for the shores to be empty for the drizzle to blanket the shore for the sun to rise slowly. so she can weep unnoticed along the shore; her eyes on the sea, her heart in the sky.
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Date: 2006-03-19 10:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-20 11:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-21 05:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-26 08:51 am (UTC)I love the way she engages in impossible activities like counting the stars to be sure they are still all in the sky. Her jealousy of Sora's fun is interesting.
I love that you don't resort to cliches at all in this story. You relate Kairi's emotions to her unique experience. I think it's very apt that she does not have a destructive sort of depression. She only wants the island to go on doing what it does so that she can sort of melt into the landscape. Really, this is a beautiful piece.
Nitpicking:
"so she tries to keep her mind off of it; off him, and live like she should, like normal." The semi-colon here should be another comma.
"she does not want to shout to scream to shatter the thalassa shells to curse the stars still twinkling weakly. she just wishes for the shores to be empty for the drizzle to blanket the shore for the sun to rise slowly. so she can weep unnoticed along the shore; her eyes on the sea, her heart in the sky." Both the first and second sentence here need commas throughout to indicate a list: "to shout, to scream, to shatter the thalassa shells, to curse . . ." and: "to be empty, for the drizzle to blanket the shore , for the . . ." The period before "so" should be a comma.
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Date: 2006-03-31 09:05 am (UTC)I've been trying to edit the story above but I keep on getting errors, but I'm gonna try again tomorrow. Thank you again! I have this fuzzy feeling in my tummy at the time you've taken to comment, I love you to bits! x)
no subject
Date: 2006-03-31 09:19 am (UTC)