kh_drabble | I will be the first to admit that this is strange

Title: Madness
Word count: 561 (my longest yet)
Spoilers: Yeeees kinda. To play it safe, let's just say it'd be better if you've gotten to the very end of KHII.
Pairing: Luxord/Saix
Rating: PG-13. I don't do smut.

Notes: ... it's ... Luxord. And Saix. As a pairing. Why I do such cracked out things, I don't know, but they always happen several hours after midnight.

Edit: This is now part of a trade with

luna_hoshino, who is going to do a Xemnas/Saix pairing! :D

Come now, berserker. You don't have to hide from me. I know what you are. We all do.

Before he knows what he's doing, Saix slams Luxord against the wall, snarling. It's all he can do not to rip the man apart right then and there. Luxord regards him calmly, his face as impassably neutral as ever (though there might be a smile there, just the smallest of smiles, but Saix doesn't see it, doesn't want to see it), his cool blue eyes betraying nothing.

Those cool blue eyes of his.

It's all a game, Saix. We are but the pieces in a grand game at which there is no winning.

So it doesn't matter what we play for. Only that we play.

Saix isn't sure if it's Luxord or his memory speaking. Both, he decides.

Before he realizes what he's doing, he's pressing himself onto Luxord, into Luxord, like Luxord is the only thing left in the world that will keep Saix grounded, sane, safe from falling back into that void where there's nothing but the howling and the blood and the light of that horrible moon.

But he stops dead when he feels something strange. Something very strange, like Luxord, reciprocating.

Saix pulls back with a start, his complete surprise and shock and confusion all mirrored quite clearly in his face, mangled by his scar and turned into something alien.

But real, Luxord thinks. This is real. There is no game here. There are no rules...

But now Saix has withdrawn. The mask is back and he's pulling away. There's a light in his eyes, the wrong kind of light. The light Luxord sees when he looks up at the moon, heart-shaped and perverted. There's hatred there, glowering out from under that mane of blue hair, like a threat and a challenge.

This is not a game. This is something entirely new, entirely impossible, and Luxord has no idea what to do. There are rules here, but they aren't his rules... but the rules are always Luxord's; he weaves people and places and times like threads and sets up the boundaries and all the positions so that everything is exact. It's always calm and controlled.

Like Saix.

But Saix isn't calm at all. He's far from controlled.

And so, Luxord thinks, are his games. Mockeries of order, he thinks. They are as mad as Saix is.

With complete calm, Luxord realizes he likes it that way.

So now it's his turn to grab Saix and shove him into the wall. It's his turn to take Saix by the collar and by surprise and kiss him hard.

There is no love there. There's no affection. There's a fierceness and a fire, the madness they share underneath their thin veneers of mastery and the deceptions they play at. It's a contest more than a connection, a battle of wills that are already in agreement but need something to fight anyway.

When they pull apart after many minutes of tense, breathing silence, both are silent. Calm. There's something new here, a mutual understanding that was lacking before.

Equality.

"This isn't going to change things," Saix breathes.

"I'm more than aware," Luxord murmurs in response.

Much later that night, Luxord and Saix are nowhere to be found. This is possibly because no one is looking for them.

And that suits them just fine.