Hmmm... stylistically, I have nothing to say, your own style works very well. But, if you're planning this as a series of related drabbles, like Vacation, I do have some things I'd like to say... I was slightly confused when Sora and company made their entrance; unless their identity was supposed to be slightly ambiguous, I don't understand your choice in describing them via pronouns in one paragraph and then directly by proper pronouns right afterwards. The shift was a bit jarring...
And the thing with the Purple Panther was interesting, although I have to wonder, are they eating it raw? There's no implication of a fire, or the remains of cooking supplies, or even a hint of cooked meat. If they are eating it raw, that shifts around the tone of the drabble almost entirely; we're talking about something drastic, desperate; why can't our trio cook? Are their powers gone? Are they being tracked themselves, and forgoing a cooking fire for the sake of secrecy? ... Or maybe I'm just reading too much into the material. XD Sorry, honors English classes do weird things to your brain. XD
I really like the character's dynamics; you know that they've been around each other for a long time. Xyogof is new, and definitely intriguing, and I'm trying to get acquainted with him as I type. XD Although I have to wonder... What's your opinion about the personalities of a Nobody and their corresponding Other? My impression was that a Nobody was pretty much the same as their Other, acting entirely on retained memory. Xyogof... I'm not saying that my theory is the one and only correct answer, but Xyogof threw me off. I guess I was expecting Goofy... but less everything. Not as positive, and not as negative, but just as wise and open and honest. And even if Goofy might not feel anything towards his pals anymore, I'd think that he'd draw on his retained memories, and at least try and act normal around them, on instinct. XD But then again, maybe that incongruency was the point.
Again, I'd love to see more, and hopefully get all my questions answered. XD Thanks.
... i sound so anal-bitchy. DX sorry~ won't happen again. =3
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2006-12-22 02:36 am (UTC)Vacation, I do have some things I'd like to say... I was slightly confused when Sora and company made their entrance; unless their identity was supposed to be slightly ambiguous, I don't understand your choice in describing them via pronouns in one paragraph and then directly by proper pronouns right afterwards. The shift was a bit jarring...And the thing with the Purple Panther was interesting, although I have to wonder, are they eating it raw? There's no implication of a fire, or the remains of cooking supplies, or even a hint of cooked meat. If they are eating it raw, that shifts around the tone of the drabble almost entirely; we're talking about something drastic, desperate; why can't our trio cook? Are their powers gone? Are they being tracked themselves, and forgoing a cooking fire for the sake of secrecy? ... Or maybe I'm just reading too much into the material. XD Sorry, honors English classes do weird things to your brain. XD
I really like the character's dynamics; you know that they've been around each other for a long time. Xyogof is new, and definitely intriguing, and I'm trying to get acquainted with him as I type. XD Although I have to wonder... What's your opinion about the personalities of a Nobody and their corresponding Other? My impression was that a Nobody was pretty much the same as their Other, acting entirely on retained memory. Xyogof... I'm not saying that my theory is the one and only correct answer, but Xyogof threw me off. I guess I was expecting Goofy... but less everything. Not as positive, and not as negative, but just as wise and open and honest. And even if Goofy might not feel anything towards his pals anymore, I'd think that he'd draw on his retained memories, and at least try and act normal around them, on instinct. XD But then again, maybe that incongruency was the point.
Again, I'd love to see more, and hopefully get all my questions answered. XD Thanks.
... i sound so anal-bitchy. DX sorry~ won't happen again. =3