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Jul. 31st, 2007 11:56 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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kh_drabbleChallenge: [114] The Show Must Go On
Title: Sharif Don't Like It
Word Count: 657
Spoilers: End of KHII
Notes: Ill-fitting for the prompt and it's a little late and a little long, hope you guys enjoy it anyway.
Rating: PG
Granting wishes may be my job, but cracking jokes is what I do. Not to rub my own lamp, but I’ve got a few hundred routines and some of ‘em ain’t half bad.
Shows what a coupla millennia alone and more voices than Mel Blanc can getcha.
But what can I say? When you got it, you got it.
Well, Genie, sometimes a cigar’s not just a cigar. There are, ahem, some that would, how shall we put it, claim your wisecracking demeanor’s a defensive coping mechanism. That you played the funnyman to, ahh, endear yourself to your masters in the pathetic attempt to spend more time outside that accursed lamp.
No siree bob, I deny all charges! Such slander!
Anyway, I’m digressing. Dude. Time to wrap this baby up.
I give a theatrical clearing of the throat. “’How’d it go over?’ asked the caravan leader. ‘Well,’ replied the camel, ‘sharif didn’t like it.’”
Ba-da-bing. Ba-da-boom.
The diminutive Keyblade Master howls with laughter.
Kairi giggles and claps her hands together. “I’ve got to remember to tell Selphie that one! She’ll love it!”
I flutter my falsies at her. “Ah, darlink. How you flahtter this old thing! You’re far too kahnd.”
She hides another giggle behind her hand.
Yeah, it feels good. Fab. Fantastic when people appreciate your jokes. Sora and Kairi are a pretty easy crowd.
But that last guy. Face stonier than the Great Wall and personality drier than the Sahara. I don’t get no respect from him.
I turn my smile upside down and lean in close to him. “Whatsa matter, fella? Darkness got you down?”
Ye-owch. Wonder who killed his sense of humor. ‘Cuz it dead. And I know dead. I’ve seen the sea.
Guess it really isn’t necessary to have relatives in Kanasa City in order to be unhappy.
Don’t worry, he was before your time.
Sora pokes his friend in the ribs. “C’mon, Riku! Lighten up and laugh!”
“I’d laugh, if the jokes were funny.” Riku raises an eyebrow. “And stepping on my toes doesn’t really make them any funnier."
Sora removes his foot and rolls his eyes. “I think you’ve forgotten how-”
“How to smile? I don’t think so.” Riku catches Sora’s eye and a smile flickers across his face. It’s the warmest I’ve seen him and more than a little unexpected.
Hallelujah! Heavens be! The mountain can be moved!
Sora grins in return, though it’s a little wry. Then a thought seems to hit him. He turns to me. “Do an impression!” Turns to Riku. “Genie’s great at impressions!”
Which is true. I do a mean Robin Williams. And my Christopher Walken’s not too shabby either. But then, everybody does Christopher Walken.
But wait! Sudden epiphany time! Well, yes, Rodney, I do think it’s a little bit of a risk, but what’s life without a bit of danger?
I poof a black cloak out of hammerspace, shrink my big blue body down and through it over my shoulders. Hide my face in shadows and lower my voice.
“Hello. This is your friend from the darkness speaking. I’d like to interest you in a special once-in-a-lifetime offer. Need a hero thwarted? A world destroyed? A princess kidnapped? Well, look no further. Moody, broody, and ever-so-stylish in a hoodie, I’m your man. For the low, low price of a heart, I’m read to wreak havoc on your… yes, your world. Disclaimer: side effects may include self-discovery, unexpected friendships, and happy endings. For a free trial, call 1-800-I-AM-RIKU.”
I release a deep sigh and wait for the explosion.
Kairi’s face is a mask of shock. Sora’s brows are drawn up in worry, his glance darts to Riku.
Who looks at me for a moment. Then throws his head back. And laughs. Not polite chuckles, either. Deep loud belly laughs.
After a minute, Sora and Kairi join in.
Yeah, telling jokes. It’s what I do. What can I say? It makes me feel good.
Notes:
Genie is hard to write, ya'll. It's been ages since I've seen the movie and he makes so many pop culture references that are before my time. Ended up listening to "Friend Like Me" and "Prince Ali" on loop while writing to get the character down.
Mel Blanc did a lot of the old school Looney Toons voices, most notably Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Tweety, and Porky Pig.
The title and the punchline of the caravan leader and camel joke comes from the Clash's "Rock the Casbah," which is either about people grooving in the desert or Middle Eastern politics, depending on your interpretation.
"I don't get no respect" is a famous catchphrase of Rodney Dangerfield's. Genie did an impression of him during Aladdin. ("I can't believe it, I'm losing to a rug!")
The "relatives in Kansas City" line comes from Groucho Marx.
Title: Sharif Don't Like It
Word Count: 657
Spoilers: End of KHII
Notes: Ill-fitting for the prompt and it's a little late and a little long, hope you guys enjoy it anyway.
Rating: PG
Granting wishes may be my job, but cracking jokes is what I do. Not to rub my own lamp, but I’ve got a few hundred routines and some of ‘em ain’t half bad.
Shows what a coupla millennia alone and more voices than Mel Blanc can getcha.
But what can I say? When you got it, you got it.
Well, Genie, sometimes a cigar’s not just a cigar. There are, ahem, some that would, how shall we put it, claim your wisecracking demeanor’s a defensive coping mechanism. That you played the funnyman to, ahh, endear yourself to your masters in the pathetic attempt to spend more time outside that accursed lamp.
No siree bob, I deny all charges! Such slander!
Anyway, I’m digressing. Dude. Time to wrap this baby up.
I give a theatrical clearing of the throat. “’How’d it go over?’ asked the caravan leader. ‘Well,’ replied the camel, ‘sharif didn’t like it.’”
Ba-da-bing. Ba-da-boom.
The diminutive Keyblade Master howls with laughter.
Kairi giggles and claps her hands together. “I’ve got to remember to tell Selphie that one! She’ll love it!”
I flutter my falsies at her. “Ah, darlink. How you flahtter this old thing! You’re far too kahnd.”
She hides another giggle behind her hand.
Yeah, it feels good. Fab. Fantastic when people appreciate your jokes. Sora and Kairi are a pretty easy crowd.
But that last guy. Face stonier than the Great Wall and personality drier than the Sahara. I don’t get no respect from him.
I turn my smile upside down and lean in close to him. “Whatsa matter, fella? Darkness got you down?”
Ye-owch. Wonder who killed his sense of humor. ‘Cuz it dead. And I know dead. I’ve seen the sea.
Guess it really isn’t necessary to have relatives in Kanasa City in order to be unhappy.
Don’t worry, he was before your time.
Sora pokes his friend in the ribs. “C’mon, Riku! Lighten up and laugh!”
“I’d laugh, if the jokes were funny.” Riku raises an eyebrow. “And stepping on my toes doesn’t really make them any funnier."
Sora removes his foot and rolls his eyes. “I think you’ve forgotten how-”
“How to smile? I don’t think so.” Riku catches Sora’s eye and a smile flickers across his face. It’s the warmest I’ve seen him and more than a little unexpected.
Hallelujah! Heavens be! The mountain can be moved!
Sora grins in return, though it’s a little wry. Then a thought seems to hit him. He turns to me. “Do an impression!” Turns to Riku. “Genie’s great at impressions!”
Which is true. I do a mean Robin Williams. And my Christopher Walken’s not too shabby either. But then, everybody does Christopher Walken.
But wait! Sudden epiphany time! Well, yes, Rodney, I do think it’s a little bit of a risk, but what’s life without a bit of danger?
I poof a black cloak out of hammerspace, shrink my big blue body down and through it over my shoulders. Hide my face in shadows and lower my voice.
“Hello. This is your friend from the darkness speaking. I’d like to interest you in a special once-in-a-lifetime offer. Need a hero thwarted? A world destroyed? A princess kidnapped? Well, look no further. Moody, broody, and ever-so-stylish in a hoodie, I’m your man. For the low, low price of a heart, I’m read to wreak havoc on your… yes, your world. Disclaimer: side effects may include self-discovery, unexpected friendships, and happy endings. For a free trial, call 1-800-I-AM-RIKU.”
I release a deep sigh and wait for the explosion.
Kairi’s face is a mask of shock. Sora’s brows are drawn up in worry, his glance darts to Riku.
Who looks at me for a moment. Then throws his head back. And laughs. Not polite chuckles, either. Deep loud belly laughs.
After a minute, Sora and Kairi join in.
Yeah, telling jokes. It’s what I do. What can I say? It makes me feel good.
Notes:
Genie is hard to write, ya'll. It's been ages since I've seen the movie and he makes so many pop culture references that are before my time. Ended up listening to "Friend Like Me" and "Prince Ali" on loop while writing to get the character down.
Mel Blanc did a lot of the old school Looney Toons voices, most notably Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Tweety, and Porky Pig.
The title and the punchline of the caravan leader and camel joke comes from the Clash's "Rock the Casbah," which is either about people grooving in the desert or Middle Eastern politics, depending on your interpretation.
"I don't get no respect" is a famous catchphrase of Rodney Dangerfield's. Genie did an impression of him during Aladdin. ("I can't believe it, I'm losing to a rug!")
The "relatives in Kansas City" line comes from Groucho Marx.
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Date: 2007-08-01 11:30 am (UTC)&hearts
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Date: 2007-08-03 11:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-01 01:04 pm (UTC)Best. Line. EVER.
♥ ♥ ♥
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Date: 2007-08-03 11:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-01 03:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-03 12:30 pm (UTC)Glad the ending worked for you; I was worried that Genie would come off as mean-spirited.
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Date: 2007-08-01 05:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-03 01:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-01 11:27 pm (UTC)I love this so much~ ♥ ♥ Definitely one of, if not, the best fics I've read in a long time.
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Date: 2007-08-03 01:39 pm (UTC)The drabble went over a lot better than I thought it would. At most, I was hoping for a laugh or two. But I'm not complaining! :)
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Date: 2007-08-09 05:27 pm (UTC)“Hello. This is your friend from the darkness speaking. I’d like to interest you in a special once-in-a-lifetime offer. Need a hero thwarted? A world destroyed? A princess kidnapped? Well, look no further. Moody, broody, and ever-so-stylish in a hoodie, I’m your man. For the low, low price of a heart, I’m read to wreak havoc on your… yes, your world. Disclaimer: side effects may include self-discovery, unexpected friendships, and happy endings. For a free trial, call 1-800-I-AM-RIKU.”
Can I have permission to try iconing that later? >.>
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Date: 2007-08-12 03:39 am (UTC)Of course you can icon whatever you like! If you do, I'd love to see the result. Can you even get all that text onto one icon?