Non-challenge
Sep. 9th, 2008 11:20 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
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Okay, so I couldn't resist my own prompt. I waited until the very end to write/post this, because I didn't want to skew the competition and/or make people think I was looking for something specific. Didn't want to influence myself either, XD. ANYWAY.
Title: Strangers
Word Count: 489
Spoilers: No
Notes: Reincarnation doesn't mean you keep your appearance and name.
The subway clatters into the station and people file on. One young African-American man sits down, book in hand, reading intently and memorizing the lines of archaic prose in Middle English - Whanne that April with his shoures sote - lips moving as he reads the words, sounds them out.
A skinny homeless man, bedraggled and worn with age, guitar in hand, grinning a bit gap-toothedly stands by the door, shifting, trying not to offend anyone.
There’s already a mother of three on the train, and she folds her hands across her girth, before giving each of the children a stern frown that silences them immediately.
A young couple cuddles across the aisle from her, and she pouts and bats her eyelashes at him while he calls her “babe” and “kiddo” and discreetly cups her breast in his hand. She frowns and shoves his hand away, and his blue eyes plead with her to let it slide.
A teenager with metal lining his ears, his eyebrows, his lips, is sitting somewhere else, absorbed in his iPod, hair dyed black as his clothes. He’s wearing eyeliner, and yet in spite of his sour appearance, he smiles graciously at an elderly lady and stands up for her immediately. The old lady smiles back and tells him that he’s a gentleman . She scoffs and calls him a “snot-nosed, ignorant punk” under her breath once his back is turned. He rolls a pair of dice between his thumb and forefinger, and leans against a pole.
There is a stern businessman in a designer suit, reading his paper and giving off one of THOSE vibes. A co-ed ignores his aura and sits down, sucking on her Green Tea Frappucino. She bobs her foot and plays with a stray strand of unkempt copper hair, waiting impatiently for the train to take off. He lowers his paper and frowns at her. She ignores him.
A man wearing coveralls and with dirty hands climbs on. He’s carrying roses, with a large card tucked in the bouquet. The clean blossoms are a stark contrast to his blue-collar appearance. Even so, he cradles them like his children and frowns at a small child that continues to blather on and on to his father about weather patterns and low pressure systems and flying. The boy’s father smiles gently at his son, and says “we’ll visit the museum again soon, Dilan.”
And just as the doors close and the train begins to lurch forward, Dilan’s father looks up and sees an unusual man standing in the middle of the car, surveying them all. He appears to be in his late 20’s, but in a way that seems almost ageless. His hair is white, his skin is dark. Their eyes meet briefly – blue and amber – and the stranger looks away, as if remembering something painful
The subway clatters out of the station, and thirteen passengers can’t explain why they feel connected.
[by the way, I've included all thirteen. See if you can figure it out ^^]
Title: Strangers
Word Count: 489
Spoilers: No
Notes: Reincarnation doesn't mean you keep your appearance and name.
The subway clatters into the station and people file on. One young African-American man sits down, book in hand, reading intently and memorizing the lines of archaic prose in Middle English - Whanne that April with his shoures sote - lips moving as he reads the words, sounds them out.
A skinny homeless man, bedraggled and worn with age, guitar in hand, grinning a bit gap-toothedly stands by the door, shifting, trying not to offend anyone.
There’s already a mother of three on the train, and she folds her hands across her girth, before giving each of the children a stern frown that silences them immediately.
A young couple cuddles across the aisle from her, and she pouts and bats her eyelashes at him while he calls her “babe” and “kiddo” and discreetly cups her breast in his hand. She frowns and shoves his hand away, and his blue eyes plead with her to let it slide.
A teenager with metal lining his ears, his eyebrows, his lips, is sitting somewhere else, absorbed in his iPod, hair dyed black as his clothes. He’s wearing eyeliner, and yet in spite of his sour appearance, he smiles graciously at an elderly lady and stands up for her immediately. The old lady smiles back and tells him that he’s a gentleman . She scoffs and calls him a “snot-nosed, ignorant punk” under her breath once his back is turned. He rolls a pair of dice between his thumb and forefinger, and leans against a pole.
There is a stern businessman in a designer suit, reading his paper and giving off one of THOSE vibes. A co-ed ignores his aura and sits down, sucking on her Green Tea Frappucino. She bobs her foot and plays with a stray strand of unkempt copper hair, waiting impatiently for the train to take off. He lowers his paper and frowns at her. She ignores him.
A man wearing coveralls and with dirty hands climbs on. He’s carrying roses, with a large card tucked in the bouquet. The clean blossoms are a stark contrast to his blue-collar appearance. Even so, he cradles them like his children and frowns at a small child that continues to blather on and on to his father about weather patterns and low pressure systems and flying. The boy’s father smiles gently at his son, and says “we’ll visit the museum again soon, Dilan.”
And just as the doors close and the train begins to lurch forward, Dilan’s father looks up and sees an unusual man standing in the middle of the car, surveying them all. He appears to be in his late 20’s, but in a way that seems almost ageless. His hair is white, his skin is dark. Their eyes meet briefly – blue and amber – and the stranger looks away, as if remembering something painful
The subway clatters out of the station, and thirteen passengers can’t explain why they feel connected.
[by the way, I've included all thirteen. See if you can figure it out ^^]
no subject
Date: 2008-09-10 07:25 am (UTC)I tried guessing but then my brain kept going "well, wait, maybe--" for all but a few of them when I tried to decide. (Are you going to be cruel or will you tell us who is who~?)
And for the story itself - it was absolutely beautiful. I just love the idea of there being a connection between them, even if they can't explain and have no idea why, and the way you wrote it flows so nicely.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-10 02:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-10 08:13 am (UTC)Echoing de yaten's question as to whether or not you're going to tell because dammit I want to know.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-10 02:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-10 08:59 am (UTC)man reading - Zexion
homeless man - Demyx
mother - Lexaeus
couple - Axel? and Roxas?
teen - Luxord
granny - Vexen?
businessman - Saix?
co-ed businesswomen - Larxene?
man with flowers - Marluxia
child - Xaldin
father - Xigbar?
unusual man - Xemnas
no subject
Date: 2008-09-10 02:40 pm (UTC)homeless dude - demyx
mother- Lexaeus
couple - Xigbar and Larxene
teen - Luxord
granny - Vexen
businessman - Saix
co-ed (female college student) - Axel
man with flowers - Marluxia
kid- Xaldin
father - Roxas
and Xemnas :3
no subject
Date: 2008-09-10 09:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-10 09:42 pm (UTC)Hee, I was going off of the whole "another life" thing, which is where the boobgrab comes from.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-11 02:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-10 11:42 am (UTC)Eeep~ *thinking*
Okay- Young man reading: Zexion
Skinny man with guitar: Demyx
Mother of three: Vexen
Young couple (girl): Roxas
Young couple (boy): Axel
Pierced Teen: Luxord
Elderly woman: Larxene
Stern Businessman: Saix
Co-ed with tea: Marluxia
Coveralls: Lexaeus
Father: Xigbar
Little boy: Xaldin
Last but not least, Xemnas. :3
How did I do?
no subject
Date: 2008-09-10 02:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-10 03:00 pm (UTC)I love how you defied expectations, yet everyone still makes sense. XD
Also damn, I almost said the 'ignorant young punk' old woman was Vexen, but I've written him as a father/caretaker too many times. X3
no subject
Date: 2008-09-10 03:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-10 11:27 pm (UTC)