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Mar. 19th, 2009 11:13 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
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challenge - [180] narrator
title - revisions
wordcount - 381
notes - facts: pirate jokes are the best jokes, and self-biased narrators are the best narrators.
Jiminy's MUSHU'S journal
What is this? 'Today we came to a pirate town. We met Elizabeth Swann, Will Turner...' how about Will Boring? Blah, blah, blah! This book needs so much intervention, it practically needs rehab. Alright! Let's make this look right! Iiii'm just gonna go ahead and cross that introduction out, and how about..
Sora crashed the ship right into a gang of slimy, smelly, bloodthirsty pirates! We were almost done right there, but thanks to Mushu the Dragon and his terrifying fire power, we managed to escape with our lives!
That's sort of how it went, anyway. Li'l bit. Now what? 'The city was under attack...', good, 'We ran into of the pirate captain Barbossa...' okay...'We have to fight him, and the Heartless he commands...'
"This is better, Jiminy, I'm just gonna add some humor, okay?"
"Mushu?! Gawrsh, is that you? C'n ya help find the 882 coins--"
Oh, they all look so busy out there! Lucky J's got me to help with the paperwork all back in here! Now, what's funny...?
"Mushu! Get in here!"
Ooh, ooh, I got it! Oh, the guys are gonna love this.
Who are a pirate's least favorite people?
The British ARRRRRmy!
Ha ha ha...I kill myself. Now let's see...he talks about what they fought Man...we fought some Heartless! And some Heartless! And then - hey, here's a shocker - we fought some more Heartless!
We met a mysterious man, all robed in black...
This guy showed up
We think he's with the Organization, and he's in Port Royal on some sort of mission to destroy'...
and he was bad.
He took four coins, the last of the 882, and tossed them to the winds...
He made us run around
We got them! But he brought forth a terrible Heartless. It's invincible - unless we can pull together and find these eight-hundred eighty-two coins!
a lot.
I like that! You know, I really like that. Could use more, well, more important people though...
"Mushu, you big palooka! Git in here an' help us, willya!"
"You guys have got it, don't worry...you're all gonna be just fine." Now where was I? -- Oh yeah, the dramatic ending!
Then the noble, great, and pleasurable Dragon saved the little angry duck from sure death. The duck was very grateful and he called Mushu a "Savior" and a "Champion." Mushu just modestly, and humbly, smiled. He is my hero.
This is much better! Oh, Jiminy's gonna be so happy when he sees this...
title - revisions
wordcount - 381
notes - facts: pirate jokes are the best jokes, and self-biased narrators are the best narrators.
What is this? 'Today we came to a pirate town. We met Elizabeth Swann, Will Turner...' how about Will Boring? Blah, blah, blah! This book needs so much intervention, it practically needs rehab. Alright! Let's make this look right! Iiii'm just gonna go ahead and cross that introduction out, and how about..
Sora crashed the ship right into a gang of slimy, smelly, bloodthirsty pirates! We were almost done right there, but thanks to Mushu the Dragon and his terrifying fire power, we managed to escape with our lives!
That's sort of how it went, anyway. Li'l bit. Now what? 'The city was under attack...', good, 'We ran into of the pirate captain Barbossa...' okay...'We have to fight him, and the Heartless he commands...'
"This is better, Jiminy, I'm just gonna add some humor, okay?"
"Mushu?! Gawrsh, is that you? C'n ya help find the 882 coins--"
Oh, they all look so busy out there! Lucky J's got me to help with the paperwork all back in here! Now, what's funny...?
"Mushu! Get in here!"
Ooh, ooh, I got it! Oh, the guys are gonna love this.
Who are a pirate's least favorite people?
The British ARRRRRmy!
Ha ha ha...I kill myself. Now let's see...he talks about what they fought Man...we fought some Heartless! And some Heartless! And then - hey, here's a shocker - we fought some more Heartless!
This guy showed up
and he was bad.
He made us run around
a lot.
I like that! You know, I really like that. Could use more, well, more important people though...
"Mushu, you big palooka! Git in here an' help us, willya!"
"You guys have got it, don't worry...you're all gonna be just fine." Now where was I? -- Oh yeah, the dramatic ending!
Then the noble, great, and pleasurable Dragon saved the little angry duck from sure death. The duck was very grateful and he called Mushu a "Savior" and a "Champion." Mushu just modestly, and humbly, smiled. He is my hero.
This is much better! Oh, Jiminy's gonna be so happy when he sees this...
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Date: 2009-03-20 03:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-21 12:39 am (UTC)i'd honestly rather get more feedback then win, ahahahano subject
Date: 2009-03-21 04:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-22 05:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-22 05:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-22 05:50 pm (UTC)