(no subject)

[biology-4-life.livejournal.com]

Challenge: Don't Get Caught
Title: Don't Panic
Word Count: 363
Notes: Hey, I'm new writer to the whole spectrum of fictional writing. Please crit like woah, I know I need it. Also, I have a slightly skewed take of the Apprentices, mostly that they treat each other more or less like brothers. And I'm bad at the whole cuts and formatting bit, so lets see how this goes. 

            The sky was overcast that Wednesday night in the Radiant Garden, not that it helped to hide the silver-hair of the boy desperately trying to remain unseen. He moved jerkily, it the first time he ever attempted to be secretive. Shooting obvious glance down hallways before entering and half shuffling half running he nervously thought Why am I trying to hide? It is not as if this section of the castle is restricted to me. I have taken on the duties as first to the throne and therefore I should be granted the ability to do as I please. Even visit garden behind the solider barracks at a late hour. Not like we have an exam tomorrow, or I will land myself in a precarious situation. Just spending my personal time with someone outside the main house, right. Not a monumental occasion. No need to fear getting caught-

 

His thoughts stopped with a most unmanly yelp as a form appeared in front of him.

 

“You’re out late tonight little dude. What ya up to?” Braig’s voice was playful and tinged with suspicion.

Don’t stutter, it nothing, don’t panic. Why am I panicking?

 

“Nothing.” Don’t elaborate, concise. Everyone tells me be concise, no need for extraneous words.

“Liar! You talk nonstop and now ‘nothin’? Who ya goin’ to see? A lady-friend?” Tease, tease, tease. If Braig was good at anything (in Even’s opinion not really) it was teasing.

“Ah-eh-fh No! Nothing of the sort.” The shifting of his copper eyes and folded arms told all.

Braig laughed openly and moved to throw an arm over his shoulders. “Oh Xeha. Xeha Xeha Xeha-” Sniggering stopped him from finishing.

“There is a “nort” following.”

“Don’t get so huffy! Man, you’re as bad as Even.” He slapped Xehanort’s back roughly, “Go on, its not like we don’t all know Ais. Just make sure you don’t caught. Even will have his head and mine. Overprotective bastard, heh.” Shoving him slightly, Braig disappeared as unnoticed as he came.

Don’t get caught. Why do I feel like this is first of many times I’ll hear that phrase?

With the grace of a new born giraffe Xehanort crept into the dark. 

 

 

Comments

[biology-4-life.livejournal.com]

You are my hero! Thank you so much for devoting so much effort to help me! Very, very helpful.

All of this is based off my head cannon, which I obviously couldn't explain in such a short space. So I ignored that people would need more background on what how I thought about them. Which is definitely something I need to work on.

Also, I never really realized that the narration isn't character, therefore I shouldn't characterize it. Or how to hyphenate.

I know my grammar is terrible, and I need to work on it. As a science sort of person, I really can wing it. Thats another reason I'm trying to participate, more practice. I probably should have re-read it more, but I had an exam the next day that I needed to study for.... lame excuse is lame....

Again, thank you for doing that. It addresses so many things I completely over looked about this medium and general fiction writing.