Challenge 258, Silence.
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kh_drabbleChallenge: 258 - The Past
Title: Silence
Word Count: 597
Notes: Long time no see! Axel and Saix. 'The Past' just spoke to me about them, so. Spoilers for KH II.
The days are silent.
They walk past each other and eyes do not meet. Words are only spoken when Saix announces a new mission and Axel grins half-assed words of agreement, working for a cause he believed in for the sake of the way Saix’s eyes glowed when he spoke of it. He no longer pursues the cause, for Saix no longer allows him to see the glow of his eyes. Perhaps it vanished. Axel guesses that it did, along with all that Saix has ever been.
The nights are silent. This one is, too.
Their bodies are within the same room, on the same bed, their hands lie limply beside each other, not touching. The room is cold, the sheets beneath them are. It grows warm only when Saix watches Kingdom Hearts for too long, feels a long lost memory tugging at his heart like fingers pulling violently on a violin’s strings, almost tearing—and Saix shifts his hand imperceptibly, touches his fingertips to the back of Axel’s hand, a silent enquiry.
“You did well at Castle Oblivion.” Saix murmurs into the coldness, voice lacking breath. What he means is: Thank you for coming back whole. A pause, and Axel is utterly still, breathing unchanged. Saix watches him from the corner of his eyes, watches his silence.
“Xemnas says Kingdom Hearts is closer to completion more than ever, now,” Saix offers insider information, tries to get Axel to react. His blood holds still and he watches Axel breathe, the slope of his slender, pointed nose and the curve of his chin sharp contours in the moonlight. It feels too long until Axel shrugs his bony shoulders, not a muscle in his face twitching.
Does this not please you? Saix wonders, the saliva in his mouth turning sour. He very slowly shifts his gaze away from Axel, resumes staring at the ceiling. Asks the blankness in the room the questions he wants to ask Axel. Where has your smile gone? Do you not miss your heart?
A brief flash of Axel’s last smile comes to him as memory of blue eyes and blond hair, and the colour purple appears before Saix’s eyes. He forgets that his fingertips touch the back of Axel’s hand when he curls his fingers into a tight fist. It is the first reaction he has given Axel in months.
Once upon a time, Axel would have touched his fingers back to Saix’s hand, would have raised his upper body and bent it over Saix. Would have touched his lips to Saix’s cheek, would have said, “Shhh, I’ve got you.” Would have shifted closer, so impossibly closer, until Saix could not have told the difference between them anymore. “I’ve got you, I’ve got you.”
Axel does not move.
--
Saix never realises that maybe he should have taken Axel’s hand in his, should have bent over him, kissed his cheek, and said, “Shhh, I’ve got you.”
And when Axel dissolves into black dust, Saix almost crushes the bones in his own hand with the force of his silent despair when he lies in bed that night and has no hand to hold but his own.
He wishes feebly for long arms around him and breath on his cheek. Wishes for his heart to come back and whisper to him, “Shhh, I’ve got you,” like it did before, so many times.
But his heart is gone now.
It is only now that Saix realises that the distorted moon in the sky will never hold him, joke with him, or say those words to him.
Title: Silence
Word Count: 597
Notes: Long time no see! Axel and Saix. 'The Past' just spoke to me about them, so. Spoilers for KH II.
The days are silent.
They walk past each other and eyes do not meet. Words are only spoken when Saix announces a new mission and Axel grins half-assed words of agreement, working for a cause he believed in for the sake of the way Saix’s eyes glowed when he spoke of it. He no longer pursues the cause, for Saix no longer allows him to see the glow of his eyes. Perhaps it vanished. Axel guesses that it did, along with all that Saix has ever been.
The nights are silent. This one is, too.
Their bodies are within the same room, on the same bed, their hands lie limply beside each other, not touching. The room is cold, the sheets beneath them are. It grows warm only when Saix watches Kingdom Hearts for too long, feels a long lost memory tugging at his heart like fingers pulling violently on a violin’s strings, almost tearing—and Saix shifts his hand imperceptibly, touches his fingertips to the back of Axel’s hand, a silent enquiry.
“You did well at Castle Oblivion.” Saix murmurs into the coldness, voice lacking breath. What he means is: Thank you for coming back whole. A pause, and Axel is utterly still, breathing unchanged. Saix watches him from the corner of his eyes, watches his silence.
“Xemnas says Kingdom Hearts is closer to completion more than ever, now,” Saix offers insider information, tries to get Axel to react. His blood holds still and he watches Axel breathe, the slope of his slender, pointed nose and the curve of his chin sharp contours in the moonlight. It feels too long until Axel shrugs his bony shoulders, not a muscle in his face twitching.
Does this not please you? Saix wonders, the saliva in his mouth turning sour. He very slowly shifts his gaze away from Axel, resumes staring at the ceiling. Asks the blankness in the room the questions he wants to ask Axel. Where has your smile gone? Do you not miss your heart?
A brief flash of Axel’s last smile comes to him as memory of blue eyes and blond hair, and the colour purple appears before Saix’s eyes. He forgets that his fingertips touch the back of Axel’s hand when he curls his fingers into a tight fist. It is the first reaction he has given Axel in months.
Once upon a time, Axel would have touched his fingers back to Saix’s hand, would have raised his upper body and bent it over Saix. Would have touched his lips to Saix’s cheek, would have said, “Shhh, I’ve got you.” Would have shifted closer, so impossibly closer, until Saix could not have told the difference between them anymore. “I’ve got you, I’ve got you.”
Axel does not move.
--
Saix never realises that maybe he should have taken Axel’s hand in his, should have bent over him, kissed his cheek, and said, “Shhh, I’ve got you.”
And when Axel dissolves into black dust, Saix almost crushes the bones in his own hand with the force of his silent despair when he lies in bed that night and has no hand to hold but his own.
He wishes feebly for long arms around him and breath on his cheek. Wishes for his heart to come back and whisper to him, “Shhh, I’ve got you,” like it did before, so many times.
But his heart is gone now.
It is only now that Saix realises that the distorted moon in the sky will never hold him, joke with him, or say those words to him.
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no subject
Date: 2011-04-09 12:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-12 02:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-10 09:33 pm (UTC)o-oh man~....;_______;
thisssssssssss /cry<3<3<3
no subject
Date: 2011-04-12 02:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-11 10:49 am (UTC)Love, love, LOVE this line: 'What he means is: Thank you for coming back whole.'
A great drabble!
no subject
Date: 2011-04-12 02:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-12 07:09 pm (UTC)This was so wonderfully twisted and beautiful, and the last part just broke my heart. I'm pretty much lost for words, so I'll leave it at that. Good work!
no subject
Date: 2011-04-13 06:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-13 07:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-15 05:25 am (UTC)