Challenge [265]
Jun. 20th, 2011 04:44 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
pieces-inmyhand.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
kh_drabble Challenge: 265- Darkness
Title: The Concept of Giving Up
Word Count: 533
Author's Notes: My first time here, trying to post something? Warning: Birth By Sleep spoilers are found here.
It hurts.
It hurtshurtshurts.
Or it would hurt, if you had anything of your own left to hurt with.
But there's too little of you left to spare for hurting anymore.The frigid touch of greedy, curling shadows had long since turned your heart numb in whatever essence of moments passing you had.
You could barely force yourself to feel and keep feeling, dragging emotion after weak emotion from the dark pit of your Heart and fueling yourself with them, keep fighting, keep straining against the chains of inky blackness wrapped around your self, clouding your memories and recollections, distorting time until you no longer remember it's passage.
For all you know, you've been trapped in here, locked away in the yearning black shadows for an lonely eternity, alone and forgotten. Years felt like seconds. Days felt like months. A moment could last a week, a minute a fortnight.
But still you fight. You fought with the desperation of someone who knew he couldn't win.
You can't lose yourself to the empty yawning darkness surrounding you. You can't. Giving up was something, like the concept of time, you'd utterly forgotten. You would keep fighting. You would. For the friends whose names hovered just out of reach, but couldn't quite grasp the words or the meanings to and force your lips to shape the sounds. For the family, your family that had shattered like a fine wine glass on hard stone.
The glass fragments that cut your fingers and made you bleed.
You try not to scream. You refuse to.
There's a new soul governing the body, nodding your head, clenching your hands, and walking with your legs, and the new soul is blind to you both, prisoner and warden alike, knows nothing of what terrible dangers his Heart holds for both him and the beautiful World he now dwells in, and you want to despair as the new soul is lied to over and over and over again, twisted and warped into a thing, a horrible monster, a loyal creature of Darkness.
So history repeats itself. The new soul didn't even see it coming.
You want to despair. You don't.
There's a choking haze of darkness coating your heart, your weak thoughts dragged under a bitter fog of black. Even when you would struggle to remember and pull yourself together, you still stumbled. You couldn't even remember why you fought at times, when your disloyal memories deserted you once again, all you know is that you must, absolutely must keeping waging war against the enemy who holds you hostage, and torments you so.
Feed the burning fires of rage and hatred that had sustained you when the faint, vague recollections of warmth & friendship couldn't and remember how this foe—this horrible enemy took everything you loved away from you.
That feeds your seething urge to claim revenge on this creature of Darkness that shackled you in chains and took away your friends. You never even found out what happened to them after your life was snatched away from your control and that just fans the flames of loathing even more.
You want to cry. You don't.
Because you can't.
Not anymore.
Never again.
You have nothing left to cry with, nothing left to hurt with, nothing left to fight for.
But you keep fighting anyway.
What else could you do? You no longer remembered the concept of giving up.
Title: The Concept of Giving Up
Word Count: 533
Author's Notes: My first time here, trying to post something? Warning: Birth By Sleep spoilers are found here.
It hurts.
It hurtshurtshurts.
Or it would hurt, if you had anything of your own left to hurt with.
But there's too little of you left to spare for hurting anymore.The frigid touch of greedy, curling shadows had long since turned your heart numb in whatever essence of moments passing you had.
You could barely force yourself to feel and keep feeling, dragging emotion after weak emotion from the dark pit of your Heart and fueling yourself with them, keep fighting, keep straining against the chains of inky blackness wrapped around your self, clouding your memories and recollections, distorting time until you no longer remember it's passage.
For all you know, you've been trapped in here, locked away in the yearning black shadows for an lonely eternity, alone and forgotten. Years felt like seconds. Days felt like months. A moment could last a week, a minute a fortnight.
But still you fight. You fought with the desperation of someone who knew he couldn't win.
You can't lose yourself to the empty yawning darkness surrounding you. You can't. Giving up was something, like the concept of time, you'd utterly forgotten. You would keep fighting. You would. For the friends whose names hovered just out of reach, but couldn't quite grasp the words or the meanings to and force your lips to shape the sounds. For the family, your family that had shattered like a fine wine glass on hard stone.
The glass fragments that cut your fingers and made you bleed.
You try not to scream. You refuse to.
There's a new soul governing the body, nodding your head, clenching your hands, and walking with your legs, and the new soul is blind to you both, prisoner and warden alike, knows nothing of what terrible dangers his Heart holds for both him and the beautiful World he now dwells in, and you want to despair as the new soul is lied to over and over and over again, twisted and warped into a thing, a horrible monster, a loyal creature of Darkness.
So history repeats itself. The new soul didn't even see it coming.
You want to despair. You don't.
There's a choking haze of darkness coating your heart, your weak thoughts dragged under a bitter fog of black. Even when you would struggle to remember and pull yourself together, you still stumbled. You couldn't even remember why you fought at times, when your disloyal memories deserted you once again, all you know is that you must, absolutely must keeping waging war against the enemy who holds you hostage, and torments you so.
Feed the burning fires of rage and hatred that had sustained you when the faint, vague recollections of warmth & friendship couldn't and remember how this foe—this horrible enemy took everything you loved away from you.
That feeds your seething urge to claim revenge on this creature of Darkness that shackled you in chains and took away your friends. You never even found out what happened to them after your life was snatched away from your control and that just fans the flames of loathing even more.
You want to cry. You don't.
Because you can't.
Not anymore.
Never again.
You have nothing left to cry with, nothing left to hurt with, nothing left to fight for.
But you keep fighting anyway.
What else could you do? You no longer remembered the concept of giving up.
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no subject
Date: 2011-06-21 11:26 pm (UTC)On to the drabble!
Second person! I always love to see what people manage with this tense. and this was fabulous and heart-breaking AND I KNOW WHO THIS IS! which is very exciting for me, because i'm awful at the guessing game :D
Lovely first addition, I can't wait to see what else you write ♥
no subject
Date: 2011-06-22 04:21 am (UTC)Second person is actually one of my favorite tenses to write with, because it brings the person I'm writing about just a bit more closer and personal to the reader. Heck, I suck at the guessing game myself unless the author makes it totally clear who he/she is writing about.
And thanks for the compliment! Just looking at him and realizing how badly he gets fucked over in Birth By Sleep, and every single game after that, it's just... heart-wrenching.
:D
no subject
Date: 2011-06-22 04:46 am (UTC)(that's another thing, a great many of us have become rather fab. friends through this comm, so by all means, sit and stay a while ♥)
no subject
Date: 2011-06-22 04:53 am (UTC)(with pleasure. nice to meet you~♥)
no subject
Date: 2011-06-22 07:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-22 08:14 am (UTC)Paying attention to the rumor mill is like... listening to all the babble in the lunchroom. And that's just... babbling with some words thrown in, heh. ఠ_ఠ
no subject
Date: 2011-06-21 11:49 pm (UTC)I absolutely love this piece. The emotion is raw and powerful, and the details - capitalizing Heart and Darkness every time, the simile with the wine glass, the sparse yet pointed use of italics - just make it. Basically, I love it and you made me wibble really hard.
That said, welcome to the community!
no subject
Date: 2011-06-22 04:27 am (UTC)If there is one thing I'm good at writing, the one subject I excel at, it's totally writing lots and lots of angst. /what happens to this poor guy is definably worthy of some hardcore wibbling.
Thanks for the welcome! ♥♥
no subject
Date: 2011-06-22 07:40 am (UTC)...nice to meet you! 8Db
YES oh man Terra has, in my opinion, the worst ending, just because he is scattered in pieces and possessed and then scattered again. Convoluted Kingdom Hearts metaphysics at their brainmelting, heartbreaking worst.
You're welcome! It's always good to see new people here.
no subject
Date: 2011-06-22 08:26 am (UTC)Yes, yes, and sadly yes on those points. :( Terra, your life sucks. Okay, you have awesome friends most people would kill to have, kickass powers and a key-sword-thingy to beat bad guys up with, but in everything else in the long run, sucks balls for you.
You? You are trollbait at it's finest.
:D
no subject
Date: 2011-06-22 05:52 pm (UTC)I...trollbait? What?
no subject
Date: 2011-06-22 11:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-22 04:45 pm (UTC)Writing about this fellow and what happens post end-game for him is something I'm fairly good at.
no subject
Date: 2011-06-22 01:35 pm (UTC)I'm blown away by this piece, it's definitely a GREAT first addition! Second person FTW plus Terra angst...that's about all it takes to win me over. Seriously, I love every line. This is fantastic.
Maybe I'll come off more coherent and less flail-y next time, but this time I'm just going to sing praises and throw confetti at you. It might be more effective if I could spell confetti, but I digress.
no subject
Date: 2011-06-22 04:56 pm (UTC)Thank you for the compliments. Terra is nearly as good at angsting as Riku is. I wasn't all too sure about this, to be honest, but I'm glad people like it. Is writing in second person that rare?
no subject
Date: 2011-06-22 05:31 pm (UTC)Writing in second person is rare, yes, but good writing in second person is even harder to find.
no subject
Date: 2011-06-22 07:03 pm (UTC)It's not that hard actually.
no subject
Date: 2011-06-23 05:45 am (UTC)Man, I love this fic so much you have no idea. SO. MUCH. Second person is, secretly, my favorite point-of-view, and Terra is, not-so-secretly, my favorite tragic hero.
I cried a little. *sniff* You really bring home the horror of it.
no subject
Date: 2011-06-23 05:39 pm (UTC)Thanks for the praise~!
And yes, sometimes I think that people forget what an absolutely horrible thing that bodyjack was.
no subject
Date: 2011-06-23 07:40 am (UTC)This is really awesome - I love pieces looking at the mess that resulted when the body-snatching failed. ♥
no subject
Date: 2011-06-23 05:41 pm (UTC)It was a horrid mind-fucking mess that resulted, indeed. ♥ God, I like writing about it too much.