Challenge [266]
Jul. 4th, 2011 02:11 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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kh_drabble Challenge: # 266- Going Back
Title: Maybe This Time He'll Fly
Word Count: 600
Author's Notes: Apparently, I'm on a Terra kick and for some reason I can't stop writing the demanding guy. As much as I love him, I need the room for other muses, damnit, Terra. Tried to write a happy piece for once. Warning: Birth By Sleep spoilers are found here.
It's been a long time since they've set foot in this place. Somewhere between the stars the two of them could see at night and the stars beyond even that, they ended up here. He, or they look up at the castle that existed there—an elegant structure of white, gold, and slender spires and memories—standing in the meadow bathed in moonlight and a hand reaches up and sweeps the black hood off their face.
Up in that castle, two familiar Lights shine in the night. In the end Sora, had done what they could not, and freed the old friends they had searched so long for, only to become more and more disappointed with each failure.
They remind themselves to thank him sometime.
They do and don't know this place.
But this was home, and who were they to complain?
He knows they weren't always like this. Their, or should they say his memories say so. The memories say he wasn't always two-in-one, say once their name wasn't a scrambled leftover of another name, was once the earth circling the sparkling ocean and the playful wind laughing at them both from ahigh in the blue, blue sky.
It is confusing, figuring out who is who and while the earth knight is sure he came first, the lord of Nothing is firm on that they may be two personas folded into one, they are one in the same and the earth knight can't argue the truth. They weren't dissimilar, they both hold strong convictions and comparable personal beliefs. It was because of this that the two personas could so easily (or not so easily) reside in the same body. But, at the end of it all, they had their differences as well.
The memories reminded them of the times they, or maybe just him, loved to fall from high places.
He never stopped hoping that one day he would miss the ground and fly.
But of course, his, or was it their memories also say they were the apprentice of a wise man, said they had no past, said they, or he could trust and not be burned in doing so.
Maybe they shouldn't put such stock in memories.
There was a time when the world wasn't moving so fast and he, no they could stop their momentum, and they, wait, he wouldn't feel sick with the way his thoughts were still endlessly whirling. There was a time when life wasn't so bleak, and he, or they didn't have to doubt the heartbeat in their chest, and remembered what love was and—
Dreamed of the day he (or was the two of them even back then?) would jump and finally, finally fly.
There was a time when there was laughter, happiness and playful spars, glass stars and good-luck charms, sweet grass and nights spent counting lights in the unfathomable ocean of stars.
But somehow, someway they had ended up right back where they had started, and looking back, they realize just how much they've changed. For the better or the worse is yet to be determined (though personally, they're of the opinion it was probably for the worse.)
Looking up at the castle that was once lost in oblivion, they can hear the words exchanged between caring friends, the shrieks of roommates being unexpectedly walloped with pillows, and the warmth of bonds tying them altogether in one messy, hopeless knot.
And for the first time in a long, lonely decade, both of them feel their lips twitch upward in a wry smile.
Maybe this time, learning to fly on their own wings wouldn't be so impossible.
Title: Maybe This Time He'll Fly
Word Count: 600
Author's Notes: Apparently, I'm on a Terra kick and for some reason I can't stop writing the demanding guy. As much as I love him, I need the room for other muses, damnit, Terra. Tried to write a happy piece for once. Warning: Birth By Sleep spoilers are found here.
It's been a long time since they've set foot in this place. Somewhere between the stars the two of them could see at night and the stars beyond even that, they ended up here. He, or they look up at the castle that existed there—an elegant structure of white, gold, and slender spires and memories—standing in the meadow bathed in moonlight and a hand reaches up and sweeps the black hood off their face.
Up in that castle, two familiar Lights shine in the night. In the end Sora, had done what they could not, and freed the old friends they had searched so long for, only to become more and more disappointed with each failure.
They remind themselves to thank him sometime.
They do and don't know this place.
But this was home, and who were they to complain?
He knows they weren't always like this. Their, or should they say his memories say so. The memories say he wasn't always two-in-one, say once their name wasn't a scrambled leftover of another name, was once the earth circling the sparkling ocean and the playful wind laughing at them both from ahigh in the blue, blue sky.
It is confusing, figuring out who is who and while the earth knight is sure he came first, the lord of Nothing is firm on that they may be two personas folded into one, they are one in the same and the earth knight can't argue the truth. They weren't dissimilar, they both hold strong convictions and comparable personal beliefs. It was because of this that the two personas could so easily (or not so easily) reside in the same body. But, at the end of it all, they had their differences as well.
The memories reminded them of the times they, or maybe just him, loved to fall from high places.
He never stopped hoping that one day he would miss the ground and fly.
But of course, his, or was it their memories also say they were the apprentice of a wise man, said they had no past, said they, or he could trust and not be burned in doing so.
Maybe they shouldn't put such stock in memories.
There was a time when the world wasn't moving so fast and he, no they could stop their momentum, and they, wait, he wouldn't feel sick with the way his thoughts were still endlessly whirling. There was a time when life wasn't so bleak, and he, or they didn't have to doubt the heartbeat in their chest, and remembered what love was and—
Dreamed of the day he (or was the two of them even back then?) would jump and finally, finally fly.
There was a time when there was laughter, happiness and playful spars, glass stars and good-luck charms, sweet grass and nights spent counting lights in the unfathomable ocean of stars.
But somehow, someway they had ended up right back where they had started, and looking back, they realize just how much they've changed. For the better or the worse is yet to be determined (though personally, they're of the opinion it was probably for the worse.)
Looking up at the castle that was once lost in oblivion, they can hear the words exchanged between caring friends, the shrieks of roommates being unexpectedly walloped with pillows, and the warmth of bonds tying them altogether in one messy, hopeless knot.
And for the first time in a long, lonely decade, both of them feel their lips twitch upward in a wry smile.
Maybe this time, learning to fly on their own wings wouldn't be so impossible.
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no subject
Date: 2011-07-05 03:24 am (UTC)It's hard to know what to suggest, because the double-pronoun, the singular/multiple confusion, is a lot of what the drabble is about. Maybe only using something like this some of the time, or come up with a smoother word or phrase to get the same meaning across? Maybe it would have been worth using some of your precious word count, early in the fic, to actually unpack the experience you're trying to get across by saying "he (they)," to describe what it feels like to be sort of more than one person.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-05 08:06 am (UTC)And I'll try rewriting some of it like you suggested. :D The excellent and thoughtful advice you offer is something I'll use to improve my writing best I can.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-05 08:10 am (UTC)