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May. 1st, 2006 10:41 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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kh_drabbleChallenge: [061] Create
Title: Cupid Cake
Word Count: 219
Notes: References to FFVII x)
there is not much that larxene remembers of her life as a somebody but when she tries to she will always remember baking a cake.
she remembers a kitchen, a spacious and clean one with a high ceiling. larxene remembers her hands beating the mixture, pouring in some flour, beating it again, pouring, beating, pouring until urgent footsteps render her hands trembling and she pours the flour all over herself.
larxene remembers looking up at a tall man in dark suit with long jet hair and a mark on his forehead. the man surveys the area filled with open packages of flour and butter and eggs and baking powder and his eye stops on the recipe titled cupid cake guaranteed to make him fall head-over-heels for you! tacked carelessly on the cabinet above her. she remembers him chuckling and asking what are you doing and her answering b-baking a cake sir, intentionally not mentioning the name of the cake.
larxene remembers blushing.
the man clears his throat and turns away but does not forget to mutter to her over his shoulders, don't worry, -----, i won't tell the boss.
larxene can never remember her name.
but for all the things that she can never salvage from the depths of her non-existent heart, larxene remembers how to bake a cupid cake, and she remembers how to blush.
Title: Cupid Cake
Word Count: 219
Notes: References to FFVII x)
there is not much that larxene remembers of her life as a somebody but when she tries to she will always remember baking a cake.
she remembers a kitchen, a spacious and clean one with a high ceiling. larxene remembers her hands beating the mixture, pouring in some flour, beating it again, pouring, beating, pouring until urgent footsteps render her hands trembling and she pours the flour all over herself.
larxene remembers looking up at a tall man in dark suit with long jet hair and a mark on his forehead. the man surveys the area filled with open packages of flour and butter and eggs and baking powder and his eye stops on the recipe titled cupid cake guaranteed to make him fall head-over-heels for you! tacked carelessly on the cabinet above her. she remembers him chuckling and asking what are you doing and her answering b-baking a cake sir, intentionally not mentioning the name of the cake.
larxene remembers blushing.
the man clears his throat and turns away but does not forget to mutter to her over his shoulders, don't worry, -----, i won't tell the boss.
larxene can never remember her name.
but for all the things that she can never salvage from the depths of her non-existent heart, larxene remembers how to bake a cupid cake, and she remembers how to blush.
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no subject
Date: 2006-05-01 03:49 pm (UTC)Cute drabble.
no subject
Date: 2006-05-02 04:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-04 06:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-06 08:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-01 08:11 pm (UTC)And adorable XD
no subject
Date: 2006-05-02 04:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-05 02:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-06 08:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-05 02:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-06 08:35 pm (UTC)Glad you liked it!
no subject
Date: 2006-05-06 08:55 am (UTC)I like that you allow her to retain those brief glimpses of memory.
You must know how effective your drabble is by the fact that people do know who it is you are talking about even though you don't mention a name.
Nitpicking:
I would use "spacious" rather than "spacy" which more implies a state of mind.
"she remembers a kitchen, a spacy and clean one with high ceiling." You need to add "a" before "high ceiling."
Also, it's obvious that you did this deliberately, but why omit capitalization? It doesn't really have any effect on the story apart from being distracting. That is my personal opinion however and I don't intend to offend.
no subject
Date: 2006-05-06 08:40 pm (UTC)I'm changing the grammatical errors right after this. I have checked it but I still miss things. And about the capitalization, I just find that stories look better without the capitalization, but I'll rethink your opinion. You didn't offend me in anyway at all :)
Thanks sooo much for reviewing! :D