(no subject)

[aishiteru.livejournal.com]

Challenge: [o84] Dust
Title: Ashes
Word count: 89
Characters: Guess. No, really.

Notes: The idea came to me in a fit of morbid.

This is more tame than what the original, highly carnivorous bunny had in mind. It will do.


Ring around the rosie, pocket full of posies....



It was a random flower he'd grabbed off the road. Just ripped it out of the dirt, not really paying attention to what or whose it was.

Ashes to ashes.

Kairi's fingers, slender and pale, were on his arm. Comforting or cautionary, he couldn't tell.

You bastard. You were supposed to wait for me.

He didn't care that they shook. Their presence didn't stop him from flinging the flower in with the dirt.

Dust to dust.

Without a word he turned and walked away, leaving the funeral far behind.

Comments

[arclights.livejournal.com]

lol surprise. <3

Short and pointed right at the heart. Critical damage, ow.

You win yet again. ♥

[aishiteru.livejournal.com]

9999! CRITICAL DAMAGE!

Sorry, couldn't help it. :x

Anyway, thank you kindly!

[lindskaba.livejournal.com]

Absolutely chilling.

I'm pretty sure I know who it is, but it makes me hurt to even think about it.

[aishiteru.livejournal.com]

Well. I'm curious. What's your guess? I had one in mind specifically for this, but I realize it could apply to.. well... first, your guess. :x

[lindskaba.livejournal.com]

Ah! I'm nervous... I'm always like, people guess who's in my fic XD but then when it comes to me doing the guessing...

I'm going to say Riku is the 'speaker' and Sora is the deceased. The bit about Kairi's fingers being "comforting or cautionary" really did it for me, as well as the entire attitude about the speaker. He seems very...edgy and tortured and weathered, really weathered, and it just screams Riku. So I hope I'm right ^.^;;;;;

[aishiteru.livejournal.com]

No worries, for you are quite correct! My, was it really that obvious? That's horrible. I was hoping it would be mroe ambiguous, even if I did have Riku solidly in mind while I was writing it. D: Oh dear.

But no, you're exactly right. My very first impression was that Riku would not want to be there. At all. He would just walk away. He wouldn't feel sad, he would be furious. I mean, were it a natural death, he might accept it. But the very, very vague implication is that the death is/was not natural.

anyway, yeah. :D So I salute your Riku icon with a Riku icon of my own!

[lorei.livejournal.com]

If I'm right with who it is..then this is really quite morbid (though in a lovely way.)

Very nice!

[aishiteru.livejournal.com]

It's incredibly morbid. The original idea had blood and yelling. Not good. I like this better. :x

I'm curious! Tell me your guess.

[lorei.livejournal.com]

Oh? I think the original sounds pretty neat-- but the tone works so well in this one. Blood and yelling-ness probably would have taken away from it.

Because I'm not original at all, it's Riku, right? Talking to Sora? In any case, that's very much what works for me :D

[aishiteru.livejournal.com]

Well, the original idea would have also probably been quite a bit longer. But I was having an emo fit when I thought of the idea. When I came out of the emo fit, I realized the idea was not only stupid but incredibly OOC for poor Riku, and I'd have to hang myself if I actually wrote it in all seriousness.

so yes. XD it is Riku. I realized later that it could really apply to either boy - I can totally see Sora reacting in a similar manner, though I don't think he'd be as willing to walk away from Kairi - but still. Riku is the type who'd storm away from his best friend's funeral, yes. :x

[tabitha-dornoc.livejournal.com]

...

*is dead*

This is cruel and wonderful. Riku is Riku and Kairi is so Kairi, and I don't know how you manage that in 89 words.

[i-got-spunk.livejournal.com]

I definately saw Riku immediately, this is so him. Well done :D